Reminder: Laid-Back Women Still Want Romance

In the old days, courting a girl meant bringing her a bouquet of red roses or planning a candlelit dinner. These days, it’s all midnight text messages and the only light is a glowing screen streaming Netflix. Things have definitely changed, and not necessarily for the better. But while us women have a lot more self-confidence these days, that doesn’t mean we’ve totally given up on the concept of romance. Here’s why we may be chill and laid-back, but we still want romance:

  1. Netflix hasn’t replaced love. Seems obvious, but it bears repeating. Of course we don’t expect lavish dinner dates every night of the week – we’ve all got work in the morning and we’re pretty tired, anyway. But you don’t have to kill any old-fashioned version of romance just because we’re finally watching Breaking Bad. We may be binge-watchers now but we still want to feel loved by you. Even if you’re only whispering sweet nothings while our collective eyes are glued to the TV screen, that would still count.
  2. We’re no longer in distress. If you thought we spent our days waiting for you to text us, you’d be super wrong. In case you haven’t heard, women are pretty awesome these days. We can pretty much do whatever we want, be whoever we want, and follow whatever dreams are calling us. This can-do attitude has made us more mellow when it comes to finding love, but don’t confuse confidence with being anti-romance. They’re definitely not the same and they don’t cancel each other out.
  3. You don’t have to be over-the-top. We’re normal people here. We’re not expecting a horse-drawn carriage or being serenaded at work. It’s just about putting a bit of extra effort in and not taking the relationship for granted (and we won’t do that, either).
  4. Our routine can be romantic. Every couple has their own routines – Friday nights at the little Italian place around the corner, Wednesday night pizza and a movie, learning a new recipe every weekend. Why not infuse a bit of spontaneity and romance into whatever that routine is? The relationship will be a lot stronger.
  5. It goes both ways. It’s a little silly if we complain about the lack of romance in our lives but we don’t try to start anything. If you show us that you care about being sweet and romantic, we’ll definitely reciprocate and surprise you sometimes, too.
  6. Milestones aren’t super chill. Maybe we’re still in the beginning of our relationship and nowhere near reaching any traditional milestones. But eventually, we could get there. The thing about milestones? They’re pretty romantic. Deciding to move in together or get engaged or have a baby is not a decision that either party should take lightly. So if we have any kind of future, no matter what that will look like, it’s probably not a good idea to be laid-back instead of romantic.
  7. We don’t always say what we want. What a surprise. We’re used to keeping our feelings and thoughts pretty close to our chest. So if we want you to be way more romantic but don’t say it, it’s not that we expect you to be a total mind-reader (okay, we kind of do). But if all we do as a couple is stay home and watch TV, you can tell if we seem bored. That’s usually a sign that we want something more.
  8. We’re girly girls at heart. Even the tomboys amongst us. Yes, really. Because at the end of the day, we all want true love, and while some of us would rather die than admit that we want to be courted a little, it’s the honest truth. So if you’re wondering whether a romantic gesture is too cheesy, the answer is probably yes… but you should still do it.
  9. We won’t say no. If you’re scared that we don’t want to shake up our usual schedule a little bit, you don’t need to be. We’ll never say no to spicing things up. If we’re casually dating you, we’re probably looking for a reason to commit. If we’re already in a serious relationship, we’re figuring out if this is going to be the only relationship we’ll ever have. A little romance may be just the thing to make up our minds.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.