Is He Leading You On? A Guy Reveals The Signs He’s Not Really Interested

Admittedly, some guys like to lie and mislead women to get what we want from you. While you can’t possibly eradicate all the crappy men out there, you can be aware of some of the signs when one of us is just leading you on with no intention of ever getting serious with you.

  1. He tries to delay relationship milestones. If a guy just wants to string you along, he’ll do everything he can to avoid certain relationship milestones. This could be stuff like meeting your parents or even going away for a weekend together. He wants to avoid anything that screams “we’re a couple” at all costs. In a way, he’s doing you a favor because he’s giving you hints that he doesn’t want to get serious.
  2. He doesn’t plan any creative dates. A guy that wants to woo you and impress you will be far more likely to get creative with his date ideas. He also won’t go out of his way to spend time with you. If he’s just doing switching back and forth between dinner and a movie and Netflix and chill, he’s not that interested in giving you reasons to stick around. In fact, it’s probably a routine that he’s used on plenty of other girls before.
  3. He gives you too many compliments. Yes, a guy should compliment you, but too many could indicate something fishy going on. Guys that selfishly want to string a woman along know that flattery will get them everywhere. These types of guys will come up with any compliment they can think of in order to lure you in. Once we have control, we can then decide if we want to get serious or not.
  4. He’s the king of last-minute cancelations. If this becomes a regular thing, you know the relationship probably isn’t going anywhere. A last-minute cancelation could mean a couple of things. First, it means he’s made plans with other people so monogamy is not on his mind. Second, some guys will try to cancel on girls at the last minute as a way to themselves in demand. The thinking is that if it makes you want them more, they can keep stringing you along.
  5. You don’t know his friends. If there’s any chance that a guy sees a future with you, he’ll be fine with introducing you to his friends. Meanwhile, a guy who’s leading you on won’t bother because his friends have already met so many of his short-term girlfriends. He also doesn’t want his friends to give you the impression that he doesn’t plan on being a long-term option for you.
  6. You always have to initiate contact. OK, so some guys are shy and insecure, which is why you sometimes have to make the first move. But if he initiated contact in the beginning and then stopped, it’s fair to question his motives. This could be a sign that he’s willing to let things fizzle. If that’s the case, he was probably leading you on and will continue to do so if you keep seeing him.
  7. He’s all text and no action. A lot of guys like flirting via text because it’s fun and easy to do. A fun texting relationship also leaves the door open for something more at a later date. However, if a guy is texting you but not asking to see you in person, he wants to keep you on the hook but has no immediate plans to pursue something serious. Obviously texting can be fun, but it’s an otherwise empty relationship.
  8. He overwhelms you with attention when you’re together. This can be tricky to spot. If a guy shows you a ton of affection when you’re out together in public but backs off the rest of the time, something could be up. We know that you like that attention and that it’ll keep you coming back, especially if it’s a little hot and cold. It helps put us in control, enabling us to string you along as much as we like.
  9. He avoids intimate moments. Intimacy is the kryptonite of guys who want to spend time with women without getting serious. When conversations start to get too deep or too gushy about feelings, he will try to deflect as much as possible. If you spend enough time with a person, it’s only natural for there to be some intimate moments (emotionally as much as physically). A guy that consistently rejects these moments is probably leading you on.
  10. He gets jealous. Oddly enough, guys that are playing games will get jealous if you mention seeing other people or having close guy friends. The types of guys who string you along and play silly games are often very entitled. Just because the dude you’re seeing isn’t interested in getting serious doesn’t mean he wants you seeing other people, which is obviously crazy and unfair. If a guy is hoping to get serious with you, he’ll get nervous rather than jealous when you bring up other guys.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.