What I Learned From A Guy Who Was All Talk

What I Learned From A Guy Who Was All Talk ©iStock/piskunov

Just because a guy says he’s going to do something doesn’t actually mean he will — I learned that lesson the hard way. I was too easily convinced by pretty words with literally zero action behind them, but it took me way too long to realize that he was full of crap. It was a terrible experience, but it wasn’t all bad — I learned so much about life, love, and most importantly, myself.

  1. I was gullible as hell. I kind of just believed everything he said and was easily convinced, despite the fact that he never bothered to prove himself. Even when he talked his way out of situations or reacted to me like a dirtbag, I was able to see his side of things. It calmed me down at the time, but really I was just being fooled.
  2. I forgave too easily. For someone who doesn’t like to hold grudges, I was just always way too forgiving. I didn’t want to cause problems between us so I just forgave him when he didn’t live up to his promises. I always believed he would change his ways eventually, but that was far from the truth.
  3. I was wrong to assume his intentions were good. I honestly thought he always wanted what was best for me and what was best for us. He was convincing and made me feel like I was always overreacting or overthinking his words or actions. I thought it was me for so long, but it really was him.
  4. I was too trusting. I didn’t have a reason not to trust him because he never gave me a reason not to. He didn’t necessarily hurt me or cause unwanted problems, he just didn’t keep his word and I kept trusting him despite that. I never wanted him to think I wasn’t someone to trust either.
  5. I made excuses for him. Whenever he messed up, I found a way to stand up for him and justify his dirtbag behavior, as if the circumstances and atmosphere plays such a huge role in how someone should treat you. It has nothing to do with that and if he really cared, he would have heard me out.
  6. I was always disappointed. Being with him was constant disappointment, hoping he would change his ways like he promised and wishing he wouldn’t let me down once again. But it was inevitable. He just didn’t take my feelings seriously enough to put in real work to make things better.
  7. I realized what was most important to me. It truly showed me what I valued most in our relationship and why it was such a struggle at times. He never gave me a reason to believe in him because he never kept his word or followed through with what I wanted, and I didn’t ask for much anyway.
  8. I realized what matters most in relationships. I realized that being with anyone means making sacrifices and not just saying you’re going to do something, but actually following through with it. Every relationship should hold high standards with communication and having your partner’s best interest at heart.
  9. Actions really do speak louder than words. I know now that words mean nothing unless put into action. I don’t believe anything from a guy unless I see it. End of.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia