Leaving In The Middle Of A Date Is Rude, But It’s 100% OK In These Situations

Have you ever been on an awkward first date where you felt panicked at the thought that it would never end? You kept eyeing out the door and wishing the fire alarm would go off or something. It sucks, but next time things are going pear-shaped, it’s totally cool to end the date and leave. Here are some scenarios that give you every right to stand up and walk out:

  1. He’s rude AF. The guy arrived to the date really late, then didn’t even really apologize for it. He then sat down and was super moody. He hardly spoke and when he did, he had lots of negative things to say about his life, career and relationships. This is not only not cool, it’s obnoxious and not your place to have to listen to. Imagine spending more time with this fountain of joy. No thanks.
  2. He criticizes you in any way. He might pick on your height — “I thought you’d be taller” — or your weight, perhaps even your dress sense. This is negging on a totally new level and it’s not okay in any way, shape or form. Get up and throw your drink in his face (or, you know, just walk out on him).
  3. He flirts with other women. It’s one thing to notice the gorgeous blonde who walks into the restaurant, but quite another for him to make eyes at her or start chatting her up. Same goes for if he says, “Oh, my friend is here!” and then bolts to her table where he stands chatting and flirting for a whole half hour. Nuh-uh. He has no respect.
  4. He says he has a girlfriend. Is he lying because the date’s going badly or is he really someone’s boyfriend? Either way, there’s no reason to stay for this BS. Anyone who says they’re already in a relationship has no chance of one with you.
  5. He’s discriminatory. Maybe he’s racist or sexist and makes really inappropriate comments and being proud of them. Uh, NOPE. No matter what prejudices this guy has, it’s not cool for you to have to date someone who’s such a loser.
  6. He treats the waiter like crap. You know what they say: watch how the guy treats the waiter. He might not treat him badly in a very obvious way, but maybe he doesn’t even smile or make eye-contact with him. Or, perhaps he makes a lot of demands from him that are really unnecessary. It’s not cool for him to be on such a power trip. Who does he think he is?
  7. He treats you like his girlfriend. It’s fine if you’re getting physical on the first date, but not if he’s the only one keen to do it. He’s reaching across to hold your hand and suggesting you go for a romantic walk together or head back to his place. He’s telling you that he wants to delete his Tinder profile right away because he’s found you. Eek. Too much, too soon. If you’re uncomfortable, you don’t have to sit there.
  8. He flirts inappropriately. No matter what you try to talk about, he’s always bringing the conversation back to how sexy you look and how he’d love to have sex with you. It’s horrible to feel like a piece of meat and it makes it clear that this guy is just looking for sex, not a serious relationship.
  9. He doesn’t look or behave like you expected. He looked totally different on his Tinder profile. Yikes. (Note to self: don’t trust a dating profile in which the guy’s wearing sunglasses.) Or, during your texting marathons before you met, he came across as a totally different person. Now it’s like you’re being pranked or he’s taken the real guy hostage.
  10. Your gut tells you to bolt. Sometimes there’s just a weird vibe you get from someone that you can’t even put your finger on. But if the feeling just won’t go away, then it’s probably your inner voice telling you that this guy is bad news. Make an excuse about having an emergency and leave.
  11. He gets way too drunk. Just because you’d like to have a drink or two to lighten the mood, it doesn’t mean you should put up with a guy who’s getting totally trashed. Whatever happened to sober dating where you can gauge if you’re right for each other? It’s so inappropriate to have to deal with a drunken, stupid guy who’s more excited to work his way through the bar than have a conversation with you.
  12. He’s stuck on his ex. Sorry but you have way better things to do on a Friday night than sit and listen to him talk about his ex as though you’re his psychologist or something. He goes on and on about their breakup and what she did, or what went wrong in their relationship. Clearly the dude’s not over her. If he’s not paying you to lend a golden ear, then you shouldn’t have to waste your time.
  13. He’s boring AF. All the guy can talk about is himself. He’s showing you all the cool art he’s done on his phone or making you sit through painful videos of him playing a musical instrument. You want to rip your hair out. Is this a preview of what it would be like to date the guy? Sitting through monologues about his life? No thanks. Next!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.