Even when we know someone isn’t right for us, it often seems impossible to actually end things with them. I struggled for a long time when I realized that being with you wasn’t right for me, but this is why I’m glad I finally managed to gather the courage to break up with you:
I couldn’t handle arguing with you anymore.
The constant fights were too much. I couldn’t stand fighting with you. The crying, the yelling, the cruel things we said and did to each other — it just wasn’t worth it anymore.
It was a toxic relationship.
Despite the fact that I loved you, we both knew it wasn’t a healthy relationship. The negativity that was bred from us being together spread into the other areas of my life, and it dictated how I felt that day, how I acted towards other people, and how I treated myself.
There were more days that I was stressed than happy.
Eventually, the stress of our relationship began to surpass my own happiness. Relationships are hard work, but they shouldn’t be ALL about work. The main focus should be on making each other’s lives better than they were before, and our relationship clearly wasn’t achieving that.
I didn’t like who I was when we were together.
When I was with you, I wasn’t myself. I compromised who I was because I was constantly worried about losing you. It got to the point where I couldn’t even recognize myself anymore, and that’s what upset me more than anything.
I was terrified of being alone.
When I was with you, I couldn’t even fathom the idea of being without you. But that’s not how it should be. A person should be rooted in who they are and know how to be alone even when they aren’t with their significant other. Once I noticed how miserable I was when you weren’t around, I knew I had a problem on my hands.
My happiness had no internal source.
I relied too heavily on you when it came to finding happiness, but I learned that joy shouldn’t come from one person or one source. Happiness comes from within, and I didn’t learn that until I left you.
Now I know what I do and don’t want in a relationship.
Everything we became was everything I was afraid of becoming. In our relationship, I found red flags, deal-breakers, and things that I really couldn’t stand. When I was stuck in such a lousy relationship, they were horrible for my mental and emotional health, but now that I’m out, I can use what I’ve learned to help me in my next relationship.
I can finally make decisions for myself.
When we were together, my schedule was completely dependent on whether or not I was going to see you. Every decision that I made was made based on you and how you would feel about those decisions. I realize now that I should be with someone who supports the decisions I make and who wants me to make decisions for myself.
I really needed to grow up.
I wasn’t ready for you when I met you. I wasn’t ready to settle down, I wasn’t ready for the future, and I wasn’t ready for forever. But now I am. I wasn’t as mature as I needed to be when we met, but I’ve done a lot of growing up since we went our separate ways.
I wasn’t being as selfish as I needed to be.
I put your feelings, your opinions, your choices ahead of mine. I never hesitated to drop everything for you, and I didn’t respect myself or my life. Leaving you was a decision that I made for myself, by myself, and it taught me that doing things because I want to is a healthy habit.
I was settling for what was in front of me.
When I was with you, I was afraid that I would never find anyone else like you. But I learned that I shouldn’t settle for a relationship that wasn’t satisfying my needs. I had to take a leap of faith and trust that there would be someone that wouldn’t make me feel like I was settling, and once I did, I promised myself to never lower my standards so much again.
I realized that I deserve way more than what you were able to give me.
Author Stephen Chbosky was right when he said, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” When I was with you, I didn’t think I deserved to be loved the way that I wanted to be loved, so I took the love that you gave me because I thought that I didn’t deserve more. Now that I’m single again, I know that I do.
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