Why Being Led On By A Guy Can Be Just As Bad As Getting Dumped

It doesn’t matter whether or not you actually end up dating a guy, because as soon as you develop feelings for him, he has the ability to hurt you. That’s why being led on can be just as bad as getting dumped. In fact, it can be even worse.

  1. You question your worth. If he led you on, he must’ve thought you were fun to flirt with, but weren’t good enough to date. Was it your looks or your personality that kept him from turning your “almost relationship” into an actual one? Questions like that could drive you nuts.
  2. He thinks you have no right to be upset. In a way, being led on can be even worse than getting dumped, because he’ll tell you that you have no right to be upset over him, since he was never actually yours in the first place. Without his sympathy, it can be even harder to get over him.
  3. You don’t even have any fond memories to fall back on. At least women in failed relationships have adorable memories to look back on. You don’t even have that, because your relationship never developed enough to kiss or go out on a date. All you have are a few sexts to keep his memory alive.
  4. You doubt everything he’s ever said. Once you realize a man has been leading you on, you’ll wonder if he ever liked you at all. Was he texting other girls on all of those nights when he was texting you? Did he even consider a relationship with you, or was it all a front?
  5. He doesn’t have any respect for you. There’s no good reason to lead a woman on. Either he was bored, he was keeping you around as a backup, or he was purposely playing mind games with you. Each possibility is more hurtful than the last.
  6. He purposely wasted your time. Think about all of the hours you’ve wasted talking to him when you could’ve been out there, flirting with other men that were actually worth your time. When a guy leads you on, he’s doing more than breaking your heart. He’s also ruining your chances of finding someone serious to date.
  7. You’re getting let down. It’s devastating to realize that you’ve gotten your hopes up for nothing. All of those daydreams you had about walking down the aisle with him were pointless, because they’re never going to happen.
  8. People assume you have to date to fall in love. If you texted him constantly and hung out with him on the daily, then it doesn’t matter if you were technically only friends. It’s easy to fall in love with someone you’re close to, whether you’re officially dating or not. A broken heart is a broken heart.
  9. You won’t get any closure. The worst thing in the world is having your heart played with without knowing why. When men lead you on, they rarely explain themselves, and that’s the hardest thing to deal with. You don’t get the closure that you need to move on.
  10. You aren’t getting a chance. You know you’d make an amazing girlfriend. That’s why it’s so frustrating to know you’ll never even have a chance to prove how perfect you would’ve been with him.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.