I Let My Ex Talk Me Out Of Dumping Him & It Was The Worst Decision

I’d reached my breaking point after six months of dating my boyfriend and I was ready to end the relationship. I tried to dump him but he talked me into staying and I seriously wish I hadn’t let him.

1. We’d been fighting constantly about everything under the sun. During the last few weeks of our relationship, our time together had been marked by lots of fighting. We fought about everything, and usually it was the same issue over and over again. I know this happens to a lot of couples, but since we weren’t resolving our issues anymore, I started to wonder if staying together was worth it. I decided it wasn’t.
2. He asked for a break; I suggested we make it permanent. During a heated fight on the phone, he beat me to it and said we should take a break. I didn’t want a break—I’ve always been against the idea of taking time out when I’m in a relationship—so I said we should just break up for good. He was totally shocked and insisted that we just needed a few hours to cool off and then we could meet up and talk things out calmly. I guess part of me didn’t want to let my emotions get the better of me or make me act irrationally. Plus, we both deserved closure, so I agreed.
3. I prepared for the end—I knew things were over between us. I don’t know what he was doing during those few hours we were apart, but I was planning my breakup speech. I wanted him to know that we were always fighting about things because we were realizing we were incompatible. We had different ideas about the future and I thought it was best to cut our losses before we destroyed each other. I had everything planned in my head for how I’d deal with this conversation, and I knew it was going to be hard because I really loved this guy.
4. He actually started crying when I told him how I felt. I was emotional but it surprised me that he was too! I was expecting him to share my thoughts about breaking up, but he threw me for a loop. He told me how much he loved me and how desperately he wanted to work things out so that we could stay together. He even told me that he’d spent the last few hours searching for a relationship counselor so that we could go work on things as mature adults.
5. This was not my boyfriend. He’d never suggested counseling in the past, other than to remark on how useless it had been for other couples. As the child of divorced parents who’d desperately tried to make their marriage work, I think he’d been left a little jaded about commitment. In any case, I was shocked to see this side to him. It got to me and softened my resolve. I agreed that we could go see the counselor and try to make things work.
6. I actually felt optimistic about our future as a couple… for a few days. After that two-hour meeting, I went home and felt renewed. I felt like we were taking a step forward in our relationship. And to think, a few hours previously, I’d been ready to throw our relationship away! Unfortunately, that optimism only lasted for a few days, until he started pissing me off again with the way he always thought he knew best. I tried to shove my irritation aside, telling myself that we could deal with this during couples therapy.
7. He backed out of all his promises. The day before we were supposed to go meet with the therapist he’d found, he told me that he’d changed his mind. Maybe therapy wasn’t what we needed, after all. Maybe we could make things work ourselves. We just had to work on our issues and be honest with each other. As he told me these things, I felt my heart get heavier in my chest until it sank into my feet and weighed me down. Had he totally sold me BS just to keep me around? He clearly wasn’t serious about fixing us!
8. There was no resolution. Although I wish I could say we figured out some magic way to communicate and deal with all our issues, we carried on fighting. They were the same old fights we’d been having for the weeks before I wanted to break up. I ended up in the same emotional landscape that I’d visited more times than I’d have liked: a desert of stress, anger, and exhaustion. I was allowing this relationship to kill me all over again.
9. I felt like an idiot for letting him talk me into staying. I’d let him persuade me back into our messed up relationship because of hope. I’d hoped that we could’ve been happier somehow. I’d hoped that we could both change and maybe become kinder to each other, but hope had left me to drown. I needed to GTFO once and for all.
10. I broke up over the phone. It sounds harsh, but I told him over the phone that I wanted us to break up, this time permanently. I felt like I had no choice but to end things during a phone call because I knew if I met up with him again, he’d use his charm and love to try to get me back. I couldn’t bear going down that road.
11. Love wasn’t enough. We loved each other, but it wasn’t enough to create a happy, satisfying relationship. I had to rise above the love we’d once shared and love myself for a change. Walking away from him was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made because instead of killing myself, I was giving myself a new chance at life. I was going to be on my own, but it was better than being with the wrong person.