10 Signs You’re Letting Other People’s Opinions Ruin Your Relationship

Do you find yourself tweaking facts about your relationship or worrying about what your bestie really thinks about your partner? Here are 11 signs you’re way too worried about what others think and need to focus on your opinions instead.

  1. You change deets. Maybe you and your partner stayed in again last Friday night. It was fun, but you’re worried your friends will think you’re boring if you tell them you’re going through a homebody phase, so you tell them you went out for dinner instead. You regularly make up relationship details, actually. It’s becoming a problem.
  2. You post loads of couple selfies. Not just one every now and then, but a few every day! Your snaps used to be travel and cat pics, but now they’re always couple selfies so you can show off what a cool relationship you’re in. It’s perfectly fine to share your relationship with the world, but are you sure you’re not trying too hard to impress your friends and followers?
  3. You use loads of filters. Your selfies go through a million edits and filters before you post those “candid” shots. Again, ask yourself if you’re trying a little too hard to seem perfect and super-happy. What’s the point if posting those happy pics is more stressful than anything?
  4. You don’t introduce your partner to your friends. You’ve been dating your partner for a while, but you still haven’t plucked up the courage to introduce them to your social circle. A reason for this could be because you’re worried about whether or not your friends will like them. Yes, it’s normal to worry about that and hope your partner and friends will get along, but you shouldn’t be so afraid of what your friends will have to say. You’re living your life and don’t need their approval.
  5. You allow others to change your opinion. Imagine you finally let your friends and partner meet. Later, your friends say you can do better. Although it’s good to consider your loved one’s opinions, and objective opinions can be valuable, you should know what you feel about your partner. If your partner’s a good person and you know that without a doubt, don’t let your friends interfere and persuade you to end things. This is especially the case if what they don’t like about your partner is something really silly, like their lack of fashion sense or how they don’t like sushi.
  6. When you don’t get “likes,” you’re crushed. You post your couple selfies online and then wait for the “likes” to pour in, but hardly any do. If this leaves you feeling down and rejected, then maybe you’re relying a little too much on getting others’ approval. Although it’s a nice feeling when others “like” and comment on your fabulous posts, you shouldn’t be so dependent on their positive responses. If you need that affirmation to feel good about yourself and your relationship, something’s wrong.
  7. You’re jealous of your single friends. When you’re in a relationship, your single friends suddenly look like they’re having the most amazing time. What’s up with that? Although it’s normal to think the grass is greener on the other side, it’s not healthy if you always think that what your friends have going for them is better than what you do. Live your own life!
  8. You’re afraid to appear too much in love. When searching for others’ approval, you might display your relationship for all to see so they can see that you’re happy. However, there’s another way in which you might be searching for your friends’ approval. You might try to hold back on how happy you really are, perhaps out of fear that if you’re too much in love they’ll think you’re showing off or they’ll be jealous. That’s no good, either. You should feel comfortable in your friendships to be yourself and share your happiness.
  9. You feel milestone pressure. When you were single, people couldn’t stop asking you when you were going to find someone. Now that you’ve got someone, you’re always asked if things are serious, if you’re “settled down,” when you’re going to get married, and so on. Honestly, you’re feeling the pressure to hit those relationship milestones. But just remember, relationships aren’t a race and there’s no general deadline by which to meet all those milestones. Every relationship has to proceed at its own pace.
  10. You compare your relationship to others. If your bestie tells you that she’s moving in with her new partner, you might wonder why your partner hasn’t asked you to move in with them yet. Similarly, when your friend tells you that she’s still in the honeymoon phase, you might worry that there’s something wrong with your relationship because that phase fizzled out ages ago. The thing is, are you seeing the beauty in your own relationship or allowing silly competition to get in the way of it?
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.