Life Won’t Suddenly Begin Once You Find Love—It’s Happening Right Now

When you’re single AF, it can be tempting to believe that your life is simply a waiting game until you have someone to share it with. You want the whole dream: an epic fist date, a storybook romance, a perfectly followed timeline. Unfortunately, that pretty much never happens. While you’ll absolutely find love, it might take you longer than you want it to, and you have to be okay with that. Here’s why you should live your life right now instead of holding back:

  1. Your life is perfect just the way it is. It may sound corny to believe that you should appreciate everything and everyone in your life. But why wouldn’t you? You have a great job, amazing friends and family, and a self-confidence that most people are jealous of. When you find love, that will be an addition to your life and that’s it. There’s absolutely no reason not to see your life as something good.
  2. You should dream big and make plans now. While you’re crushing your career and life in general, there’s nothing wrong with dreaming, and you might as well dream now. You don’t need to wait until you can text your BFF with the news that you finally met a great guy. You should find all the happiness that you can and you should do it now.
  3. You’re not getting any younger. There’s so much more time than you think there is to find love, mostly because you can literally meet the love of your life at any given moment. But there’s still one fact that you can’t ignore: you’re not getting any younger. Aging is one of those undeniable facts. Since you don’t have any time to waste, why would you wait around for your life to begin? Do whatever you want to do now—there’s no reason not to.
  4. Once you find love, things are only going to get more complicated. It’s not always a bad thing that relationships bring more stress to your life than when you’re rolling solo. It’s just the truth. You might as well create the life that you want ASAP so when you do find a cool guy, you can work your way into each other’s lives as painlessly as possible. That will only happen if you get your act together now.
  5. You’ll be thinking about your partner’s wants and needs. Once you fall in love, all bets are off, or so they say. You’ll be thinking about your amazing boyfriend 24/7 and will want to make him happy. You won’t stop thinking about your own wants and needs, of course, since this isn’t the 1950s and you are absolutely a feminist, but you will likely change your mind about some things. That’s only natural. You might as well be selfish for as long as you can.
  6. You never know when you’re going to meet your person. So why would you hold off on actually living the life that you want? It doesn’t make any sense. Life has its own timeline and you never know what’s going to happen and when. Instead of just sitting back and letting the world move around you, you should be in the driver’s seat, controlling your own narrative.
  7. You could have five boyfriends before meeting the right one. You would have to wait to live your actual life while dating all of those guys. That sounds exhausting… and silly. You might have to go out with a lot of frogs before meeting your version of Prince Charming, so you might as well embrace yourself as you are and do what you want.
  8. You’ll only get super frustrated. You should never set deadlines for impossible things. If you’re job hunting, you don’t know when you’re going to land your dream job. If you’re single, you don’t know when you’re going to go on a great first date that will actually lead to something. Since you probably don’t want to get frustrated AF, you might as well stop waiting for a boyfriend.
  9. Dating sucks and your life shouldn’t. Another unavoidable fact? Sometimes dating is the worst. If you wait around for a relationship before you really start living, you’re going to make your entire life miserable instead of just one part of it (aka the part where you go on first dates and have weird experiences). Build a fun, positive life and you won’t mind leaving another crappy date. Really.
  10. You shouldn’t pressure yourself. The stupidest thing that you can do is give yourself a timeframe for finding love. It’s not your fault, of course. Society acts like if you don’t get married by age 30, it’s all over. That’s not even remotely true. Take the pressure off and do what you want to do.
  11. You don’t need to give guys all the power. Being desperate for a relationship is like giving guys all the power over you. It’s pretty obvious why you don’t want to do that (mostly because it’s the least feminist thing you could do). Give yourself the power and live your amazing life. You won’t regret it.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.