I Like Being Alone And I Don’t Want The Guy I’m Dating To Change That

I think it’s great to have that special person in your life that you can spend time with and share your secrets with, but at the same time, I like being that special person for myself. Being alone is something I’ve always enjoyed, and now that I’m in a relationship, I’m petrified that the habits I’ve grown to love will diminish entirely.

  1. I Like Having The Bed To Myself. Does anyone really like to share their bed with another person? I mean, I know people like to cuddle — I love cuddling. The guy I’m dating is probably the best cuddler in the world. His arms wrap perfectly around my body and it’s magical. That being said, once the cuddling is over, all I want to do is turn over to my stomach and go to sleep. Unfortunately, my boyfriend likes to keep clinging on to me which completely ruins my slumber.
  2. My Emotions Aren’t The Most Stable. Face it, emotions go up and down when you’re in a relationship. I know mine do. When my boyfriend and I are good, I’m happy. But when there’s tension or uncertainty, I’m absolutely miserable. I lash out at my friends and family and I become a complete and total bitch for no real reason other than my boyfriend is mad at me (or vice versa).
  3. I Hate Getting Distracted. I’m not in college anymore, so it’s not like I’m worried my boyfriend will deter me from my school work, but guys are distracting. Boyfriends are distracting. And although I’m not nervous about turning in an assignment late, I’m definitely nervous about getting so invested in my boyfriend that I lose a little bit of myself. I don’t want to forget my hobbies and interests because I’m in a relationship.
  4. My Phone Isn’t My Friend. I don’t like being on my phone 24/7. I prefer phone calls over texting but if I could avoid both options, I would. For me, dating pretty much means I’m living on my phone. I’m either texting, waiting for a text, talking on the phone, or checking his Snapchat location like a complete creeper. I know not every relationship lives on the phone, but mine do.
  5. I Like Avoiding Compromises. Not only do I prefer never having to compromise, I prefer never having to think about someone else’s feelings over my own. (Yes, I’m aware of how selfish that sounds.) Maybe when I’m 30 with two kids under my belt, I won’t mind putting others’ needs over mine but right now, I’m not a fan. When my boyfriend wants to attend a baseball game and I have to go with him just so I’m not considered an annoying girlfriend who never does things her boyfriend wants to do, I low-key hate myself for compromising.
  6. My Money Never Stays In My Pocket. Dating is expensive as hell, especially nowadays. I’m NOT about making my boyfriend pay for everything so we typically go back and forth. Sometimes he treats me, sometimes I treat him. It’s cute but it adds up for both of us. Plus, because I like to look my best, I end up spending a ton of money on makeup and clothes to make sure I’m always looking date-ready.
  7. I’m Always Trying To Grow. When I’m alone, I don’t have to worry about the choices I make. I don’t have to stress about whether or not I’m doing something in or out of my character. I’m only 24, after all. I’m still getting to know myself. I want to be able to take risks and change who I am at the drop of a hat. I’m not sure I can do that while I’m dating  there’s always a chance (a good chance) that my boyfriend might not like all the constant “new me”s.
  8. My Routine Is Very Important To Me. It’s not that I simply like having a routine. I like having my own routine. I like getting up, putting on a little Lana Del Rey, and just getting myself ready for the morning. Luckily the guy I’m dating has to be up and on his way to work fairly early so by the time I start my routine, he’s gone. But what if he wasn’t? What if I had to get ready in the morning with him? Ugh…sounds miserable.
  9. I Like Having Options. As messed up as this sounds, I hate not being able to date multiple guys at one time. Or rather, I don’t like having to turn down a date with a decent potential mate because I’m in a relationship. I know, I know. That’s the whole point of being in a committed relationship. But what if this guy I’m with isn’t my person and being with him makes me miss out on a guy who is?
  10. I Like Feeling Independent. I’ve never liked the idea of relying on other people (that aren’t my family). I just don’t like feeling as if I need someone in my life. That’s why I’ve always preferred to be alone. When I date, I get used to that person and start almost needing them in my life. I don’t want to need my boyfriend — I don’t want to become accustomed to his existence.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.