I’d Like A Boyfriend But I’m Definitely Not Ready For A Husband

I took my time being single AF but now I’m ready for something new. I’m finally ready to put myself back in the serious dating pool because I want a real relationship, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to walk down the aisle.

  1. I want to take my time. I’m ready for something serious but that doesn’t mean I’m going to jump the gun with the first guy I meet. I believe in taking things slow. I don’t want to rush falling in love all to end up with the wrong guy. I’m going to commit myself to a serious relationship, but it’s going to take some serious time before I’m ready to say “I do.”
  2. There’s a difference between getting serious and settling down. Getting married is a whole different form of commitment. I’m fully ready to dedicate my time and energy to one man but that doesn’t mean I’m going to automatically swear I’ll be with him forever. I don’t make promises unless I know I can keep them, so my heart might want to get serious but it’s definitely not ready to vow eternity to any man.
  3. I don’t want to have any regrets. My biological clock might be ticking but I’m not going to let that control the course of my entire life. I’m still young and I don’t want to commit to a man just because I feel pressured to find my happily ever after. I’d rather wait to find true love than rush into a marriage I’ll someday regret. I want a love that will last forever instead of rushing into a relationship with a man I’ll grow to resent.
  4. I’m not ready to start a family. A lot of people think of marriage as the first step before starting a family, as if getting married means you need to pop out a couple kids within the next few years. I may not feel that pressure when it comes to married life but I’m aware how many others do. I know I’m not ready to start a family and I don’t want to give any man the wrong idea.
  5. I still want my freedom and independence. I’m not ready for my life to be completely intertwined in someone else’s. I still want to be able to make my own choices and choose my own path without having to give a man an equal say in where I’m headed. Someday I want to be equal partners with the man I marry and give him consideration in my life choices, but today is not that day.
  6. I know it’s not just about the right timing. It’s about the right person. Even if I did say I was ready for marriage, I can’t do anything about it until I meet the right guy. I feel like people who say they’re ready for marriage when they’re not even in a relationship yet are just going to rush things with whoever they date next and I don’t want that for myself. For me, the timing won’t be right until I meet the right guy.
  7. I’m thinking about the future, I’m just not thinking about forever. I’m ready to start planning my future but I can’t guarantee at this point that a serious relationship will lead to forever. I’ve had serious relationships that failed in the past. I spent years with the same guy only for things to not work out. After that, I took some time off and kept my relationships casual. Now I’m ready to jump back in and I’m thinking about my future but I can’t think about a joint future until after some serious time.
  8. I don’t want to change too much too fast. Having a serious relationship with a man I truly care about would already be a huge change to my life. I don’t want to pledge my undying forever-lasting love to him all at the same time. I’m taking my life one day at a time. I know that I’m supposed to “live in the moment” because life is short but I also want to enjoy the ride.
  9. I want to do whatever I can to make sure I don’t end up divorced. If half of marriages end in divorce then I want to be the half that succeeds and actually grows old together. I don’t want any failed marriage attempts. I know my heart can’t handle that. I don’t want to end up starting over and trying to put the pieces of my life back together when I am old and ready to be settled down. I want to be 100 percent sure that the man I’m marrying is the best man for me before I take that leap.
  10. I don’t think you even can be single and ready for marriage. In my mind, you have certain steps you have to take to get to that place in your life. I need to actually have a serious relationship first and figure out the if the guy is right for me before I can say whether or not I’m ready for marriage. I might be single and want a happily ever after, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready for it right now.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.