I feel very fortunate to have some amazing women in my circle who are always there for me to lift me up, lend an ear, and cheer me on. We hang out, we socialize, and sometimes we cuddle. It wasn’t until recently that I started to wonder if straight women curling up together is as OK as I always thought it was. Now I’m wondering if it’s a little strange…
We’re all insanely comfortable in our own skin. This group of ladies is not a self-conscious or introverted bunch. My friends are all pretty outgoing, confident, and Type A personalities. I think that’s part of why it doesn’t bother us when one needs some snuggle lovin’, because we get that being “on” all the time for the outside world is totally draining. We may feed off the energy of others, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need a recharge every now and then.
It’s not a girl-on-girl type thing. If I told any immature dudes about these cuddle sessions, they’d probably freak out in excitement about the girl-on-girl action, but this is so not like that. Being there for each other and providing comfort in a totally platonic way is not the same thing as girls who are actually in love. In our case, it’s not sensual, it’s purely a form of sisterhood among friends.
My guy friends judge us but secretly, I think they’re jealous. I’ve gotten some smack from men in my life about how it’s so weird and we’re too old for this and blah blah blah. My theory is that they wish someone would hold them when they’re having a bad day. I personally think guys cuddling should be as OK as women doing it, but our society still makes men think they have to be tough all the time. So when I get lip from guys, I brush it off.
Snuggling is proven to improve happiness. There’s actual research that says human contact raises serotonin levels in the body. Whether it’s hugs or full on cuddles, being close to someone else helps your mood, increases happiness and gives you the recharge you need when you’re feeling down or depleted. By that logic, holding friends, female or male, is good for both people involved.
Some people don’t have anyone else to hold them when they’re having a crappy day. I’m personally in a relationship full of cuddles, but some of my female friends are single, and that means when they need to be held there isn’t a boyfriend ready at their beck and call. That’s when the rest of us come in to provide whatever they need at that moment, even if it’s snuggles.
It’s so much easier to travel when we don’t mind bunking up. Not being afraid to cuddle means when we go on trips, sharing beds in no problem. Hotels are cheaper, more people can fit in a room, and everybody has a good time. I’ve heard horror stories from male friends about being anxious they were going to accidentally roll over and touch a guy they were sharing a bed with on a sporting team trip or whatever, and that’s something we ladies don’t have to worry about.
It could get messy if we’re ever on the wrong page. It’s definitely true that if a friend of mine ever was interested in another friend or me in the future, the cuddling might have to stop. It’s the same with a male friend—if you know he likes you as more than that but you’re not interested, you probably wouldn’t be spooning because it’s considered leading him on. For now, that doesn’t seem to be an issue among me and my friends.
Cuddling actually does more for women than it does for men. There’s a reason some ladies want to snuggle after intimacy and most guys prefer to roll over. Science shows that our bodies are engineered such that females prefer the feeling of others more than males because of the level of comfort mentioned earlier. Therefore, even if my friends and I do have boyfriends or partners, cuddling with each other might be better for everyone!
Once I’m married, I’ll probably have to stop. Even if I think it’s perfectly normal to spoon with my girlfriends once my boyfriend and I get engaged and then married, I’ll most likely pull the plug on the snuggle parties with friends. Some like my sister and best friend will always be on my short list of people I’m willing to hold, but it’s probably better if I limit the rest of my snuggle-scapades to them.
For now, bring it on! I see nothing wrong with curling up with my female friends, so until I decide it’s inappropriate for the life stage I’m in, I’m not going to stop. You can judge me all you want, but if it works for me, that’s all that matters.
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