You Were Like A Drug, But I’m So Over That Addiction

Being with you was like experiencing the best high of my life. I was addicted to your love and I just couldn’t get enough of you, no matter how bad you were for me. When we were together, it was magic, but when we were apart I suffered major withdrawals. You were my addiction, but I’ve finally broken that bad habit.

  1. We had incredible highs but devastating lows. One minute I was everything to you and it felt like our love would last forever, the next we were fighting and we hated each other. It was a whirlwind cycle of pure bliss and pure hell. I loved when we were happy but I hated all the rest. In the end, the up and down rollercoaster of the relationship was just too much.
  2. I needed to break the breakup/get back together cycle. The process was just too painful. If we were so good together then why did we keep breaking up? If we were really that great of a couple, we would have stayed together through the thick and the thin. The reality is, we weren’t good for each other and that’s why I needed to close the final chapter on this disaster of a love story. The end.
  3. I finally realized that the good wasn’t worth the bad. The brief moments we were happy were incredible, but another fight was always looming around the corner. I thought I’d never feel good again without you but I was wrong. I deserved more from you, and I’ll be sure to demand it from the guy I’m with in the future.
  4. I deserve a healthy relationship. Doesn’t everyone? We were the epitome of an unhealthy relationship. You didn’t make me feel good about myself. You only made me feel good about you, that I needed you and that you were the only good thing in my life. I deserve a guy who loves me for me and feels lucky just to be with me. I deserve to love myself, but all you did was tear me down.
  5. It was less love and more of a lustful obsession. The more I felt like I was losing you, the more I wanted you. It’s the way you always want the things you can’t have. I thought you were the great love of my life, but that dream died a long time ago and I just didn’t know how to let go.
  6. I didn’t know that I didn’t actually need you. You were my little dose of happiness, or so I thought. I never knew that I didn’t need you to make me happy. I didn’t realize that I could be happy on my own. I thought that I needed you and that’s what made me want you, but in the end, none of it was real.
  7. I’m clean now, but that doesn’t mean I never miss you. I do miss you sometimes, but then I remember how bad you were for me. I need to be with someone who brings me joy without all the pain. I need to be with someone who’s good for me. I might be weak sometimes and wish we were together again in those brief moments, but then I remember all the crap you put me through and I know I’m better off where I am.
  8. Now that I’m through the rehab, I’ll never relapse. I’m never going to risk my heart like that again. I don’t want you back. As wonderful as the good times were, I know my life is so much better without you in it. I’ve moved on. I’m over you and I’m never going back.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.