Being with you was like experiencing the best high of my life. I was addicted to your love and I just couldn’t get enough of you, no matter how bad you were for me. When we were together, it was magic, but when we were apart I suffered major withdrawals. You were my addiction, but I’ve finally broken that bad habit.
We had incredible highs but devastating lows. One minute I was everything to you and it felt like our love would last forever, the next we were fighting and we hated each other. It was a whirlwind cycle of pure bliss and pure hell. I loved when we were happy but I hated all the rest. In the end, the up and down rollercoaster of the relationship was just too much.
I needed to break the breakup/get back together cycle. The process was just too painful. If we were so good together then why did we keep breaking up? If we were really that great of a couple, we would have stayed together through the thick and the thin. The reality is, we weren’t good for each other and that’s why I needed to close the final chapter on this disaster of a love story. The end.
I finally realized that the good wasn’t worth the bad. The brief moments we were happy were incredible, but another fight was always looming around the corner. I thought I’d never feel good again without you but I was wrong. I deserved more from you, and I’ll be sure to demand it from the guy I’m with in the future.
I deserve a healthy relationship. Doesn’t everyone? We were the epitome of an unhealthy relationship. You didn’t make me feel good about myself. You only made me feel good about you, that I needed you and that you were the only good thing in my life. I deserve a guy who loves me for me and feels lucky just to be with me. I deserve to love myself, but all you did was tear me down.
It was less love and more of a lustful obsession. The more I felt like I was losing you, the more I wanted you. It’s the way you always want the things you can’t have. I thought you were the great love of my life, but that dream died a long time ago and I just didn’t know how to let go.
I didn’t know that I didn’t actually need you. You were my little dose of happiness, or so I thought. I never knew that I didn’t need you to make me happy. I didn’t realize that I could be happy on my own. I thought that I needed you and that’s what made me want you, but in the end, none of it was real.
I’m clean now, but that doesn’t mean I never miss you. I do miss you sometimes, but then I remember how bad you were for me. I need to be with someone who brings me joy without all the pain. I need to be with someone who’s good for me. I might be weak sometimes and wish we were together again in those brief moments, but then I remember all the crap you put me through and I know I’m better off where I am.
Now that I’m through the rehab, I’ll never relapse. I’m never going to risk my heart like that again. I don’t want you back. As wonderful as the good times were, I know my life is so much better without you in it. I’ve moved on. I’m over you and I’m never going back.
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