What It’s Like To Be Let Down Time & Time Again By Men

What It’s Like To Be Let Down Time & Time Again By Men ©iStock/CoffeeAndMilk

You’ve been led on and cheated on. You’ve been used and abused. You’ve been crapped on and screwed over. Basically, you’ve been through it all. This is what it’s like to be disappointed time and time again by men:

  1. You’re numb to compliments. You used to get butterflies whenever a man called you beautiful. Now you don’t even react when guys on Tinder claim you’re the most gorgeous girl they’ve ever seen, because you assume it’s a line they use on everyone. They’d need to say something extra special to get your attention.
  2. You don’t give men any credit. If a guy does something nice for you, you can’t enjoy the sweet gesture. You’ll be too busy wondering what his ulterior motive is. From your experience, no man does anything without expecting something even bigger in return.
  3. You blame yourself for unreasonable things. Your ex is the only one to blame for his BS actions, but since he won’t take responsibility for them, you end up taking some of the blame. You tell yourself that it’s your own fault for being too clingy or too loving, when really, you did noting wrong.
  4. You come across as bitter. You’re not a man hater, but some people think you are, since you’re always telling horror stories about the men you’ve dated. But it’s not your fault that you’ve never seen a happy relationship. If your friends went through what you went through, they’d seem bitter, too.
  5. You turn down dates out of fear. As much as you want to find love, you’d rather be alone than risk getting hurt again. Even if you find a great guy, you’ll turn him down, just because you don’t want to get your hopes up. It’s tiring to get your heart broken time and time again.
  6. You assume you’re the problem. Everyone says that it’s a myth that all of the good guys are taken, so that must mean that you’re doing something wrong. Either you’re going after all of the wrong men or you’re not good enough for the right men. Either way, you must be the problem.
  7. You wonder if it’s all worth it. All of your friends in happy relationships say that their broken hearts were worth it in the end. But is anything worth the worry, confusion, and low self-esteem that comes with dating around? You’re honestly not sure.
  8. You stop trying so hard to impress men. All of the days you spent doing your makeup and nights you spent shaving your legs didn’t help you land a date. That’s why you’re not even going to bother anymore. If you decide to do those things, you’ll do it for you.
  9. You get set in your single ways. Instead of looking for men to go out with on Friday nights, you embrace your Netflix binge watching sessions with your cat. You assume you’re going to be single for life, so you try your best to enjoy it.
  10. You get accustomed to heartbreak. It’s dangerous to assume that every man you meet is going to screw you over, but that’s what you’ve come to expect. You’ve been disappointed too many times to consider yourself an optimist. You’re a realist, and real life involves a ton of heartbreak.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.