What It’s Like Being In Love With A Guy Who’s Already Taken

Being in love with a guy who’s already taken is nothing short of torture. You can’t even look his beautiful face without going on an emotional roller coaster, and what makes it worse is that your feelings aren’t even technically allowed because, well, he has a girlfriend.

  1. You do everything you can to get him out of your mind. You know you shouldn’t be thinking about him in the way you are, so you make every possible effort to get him out of your mind. You unfollow him on Facebook, you try your best to not end up at the same parties as him, and you definitely do NOT talk to his girlfriend anymore. Unfortunately, while some of these things help temporarily, he always ends up back in your mind at the end of the day.
  2. You think about ways you can indirectly cause a breakup. Even though it’s totally wrong to do this and you’d never actually follow through with it, you fantasize about all the ways you could accidentally break them up. Maybe you can vaguely hint at how everyone seems to be breaking up nowadays — you know, get his wheels turning. You kinda hate yourself for thinking this way, but that doesn’t mean you can stop.
  3. It kills you when he talks about his girlfriend in front of you. When he starts to talk about his girlfriend around you, you have to leave the vicinity. You can’t even bear to hear him say her name when he should really be saying yours. It’s nothing against her — she’s great, obviously — it’s just too painful to handle.
  4. You accidentally start flirting with him and then feel guilty. All you know is that you’re in love with him and sometimes you forget that he’s attached to someone else. You’ll start to flirt with him only to dial it back when you realize what you’re doing. It’s not your fault the chemistry between you two is off the charts. You know it’s not your place to be coming on to him, but it really is completely unintentional sometimes and you have to stop yourself.
  5. You’re afraid you’ll never get over it. You might be thinking to yourself that this is only a phase. You get crushes all the time, and this too shall pass. But when it’s still there a year later, you start to worry that — like your other long-time crush, Leonardo DiCaprio — it’s never going away. How does he keep getting more attractive?
  6. You stalk his girlfriend on the regular. After finding out who his girlfriend is, she becomes a regular on the list of people whom you Facebook-stalk. There’s no shame — we all do it. You just want to keep up to date with her daily happenings and whether there are any status updates that her relationship is in trouble.
  7. You try to find proof that he likes you back. This whole thing is enough to make your head hurt, yet you still manage to think of specific examples of how he might be in love with you too. It’s usually about a text he sent, seemingly about something else, but you know how to read between the lines and yeah, he pretty much said I love you.
  8. You don’t know how to talk to him anymore. You don’t have a friend vibe with him, so every time you talk to him, you feel like you’re faking it. You can’t be your real self, because your real self would be telling him how much you love him and that’s not what friends usually say to each other. Your conversations are usually about mundane things to keep the sexual tension down, and it’s awkward AF. You just hope he doesn’t notice.
  9. The fact that he’s taken makes you want him even more. You always want what you can’t have, and the fact that he’s taken makes him that much more desirable. Nothing is hotter than forbidden love. It’s kinda like Romeo and Juliet. No wait, it’s exactly like Romeo and Juliet. Hopefully no one actually dies in this situation, of course…
  10. You fantasize about him dumping her for you. You hate yourself for thinking this, but you would be so happy if he dumped her for you. You’ve even thought about what you would say to him when he does it. Something along the lines of “I’ve always loved you” and then you’ll make out with each other, preferably in the rain. Sigh… a girl can dream.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada.