Loving two people at once isn’t as great as it sounds. Imagine if your boyfriend told you he loved you and another woman. How would it make you feel? See my point now? Loving two people romantically is draining and eventually you’ll have to make a choice.
- You always feel like you’re cheating. Even if you’re not sleeping with both people, you still feel like a cheater. In face, emotional cheating can hurt even more than physical cheating. You can’t help how you feel, but it still tears you apart to think of hurting either one.
- You wonder if any of it’s real. While it’s possible you’re mistaking lust for love, loving two people at once isn’t impossible. We’re actually wired to love multiple romantic partners. Of course, we’re still wired to want monogamy too, so knowing the love is real for both people doesn’t make you feel any better.
- You’re always comparing the two. You know how you compare your new boyfriend to your exes? Now, you’re constantly comparing Love A to Love B. Part of it is to help you choose while the other part is just to see how different each is. Still, the comparison game loses its appeal quickly.
- Despite the problems, you still feel lucky. You feel like it’s not right, but part of you feels lucky. You try to justify it by saying that most people are lucky to find one person to love while you’ve found two. For at least a moment, you feel like the happiest woman alive.
- You feel like you’re carrying a huge secret. Odds are, you haven’t told your friends or either love interest that you’re in love with two. At first, this secret isn’t so bad. It might even feel good. But as time goes, that secret starts to weigh on you and everyone will notice.
- Love instantly becomes more confusing. Think love’s confusing and hard with one person? Imagine loving two people. It’s twice the work, twice the drama and twice the heartache when it goes wrong. Suddenly, it doesn’t seem worth it.
- You struggle with being honest about it. You already know that honesty is the best policy, but you also know being honest is going to hurt you and someone else. It’s a constantly internal struggle as to what to say and when to say it.
- Part of you keeps denying it. It’d just be better if you could rationalize everything. You’re not really in love with two people. You might not love either one. You’re pretty sure you love guy number one, but maybe it’s just guy number two. After all, no one could possible love multiple partners.
- You’re always over-analyzing your feelings. In the gut wrenching search to discover who you love most, you over-analyze every single feeling. Who made you feel happier, sexier, most loved? It feels like the worst game of tennis as you find all your feelings flip flop between both guys.
- You’re afraid of finding number three. You love two, so what’s to stop you from falling for a third partner? It’s a realistic fear. You even start to wonder if you even know what love is. What if you fall for anyone who loves you? It’s your heart’s worst nightmare.
- You’re constantly making pros/cons lists. Forget to-do lists. You have numerous pros/cons lists to help you decide between the two. All you want is for just one list to show one clear winner. Even just a few more pros or cons would be nice.
- If you try to leave one, you instantly regret it. You think you’ve made your choice, but when the time comes, you regret the choice. You can’t seem to say goodbye to either one. What if you’re making the wrong choice? It’s a struggle that doesn’t seem to have an easy way out.
- You try keeping both at a distance. You need space while you try to choose. The last thing you want is to get any closer to either one. You also don’t want to feel like you’re cheating. You try desperately to keep them both at a distance. Part of you even thinks getting away from both might just be the best solution.
