I Liked Him A Lot… Until I Saw His Facebook Page

People might say what happens online isn’t real, but it felt pretty real when I searched on Facebook for a guy I was dating and saw a totally different side to him. Ugh. This was like catfishing, only the other way around—he’d pretended to be something he wasn’t in real life. When I checked him out online, he was totally different. WTF?

  1. He knew how to sell himself. We met in real life and didn’t connect on Facebook, so our first date felt fresh. It was great to get to know him without having made assumptions about who he was. He really seemed like a catch—he was creative, had a wicked sense of humor, and was down-to-earth. I really liked him and wanted to see him again.
  2. I was tempted to check him out onlineOur first date had been so great, I couldn’t help but think it was too good to be true so I decided to go online and check him out on Facebook. I was curious to see what else I could learn about him, if he was really single (guys lie about this sometimes), and what his exes were like. No biggie.
  3. I got a lot more than I bargained for. He had loads of pictures of spiders and snakes on his profile—OMG, it was so gross. The guy was posing with these creatures and talking about how he had so many at home as pets. WTF? I was so creeped out. Would I go to this guy’s house at some stage and have to see all these slimy, hairy things? No way.
  4. His ex was surprising. I saw pictures of his ex and checked out her profile too. This woman was so different from me, it was insane. She looked like my complete opposite, had totally different tastes, and was into things like adventure sports which she enjoyed with him when they dated but which is so not my cup of tea. He clearly had a type and it wasn’t me. Why the heck was he dating me?
  5. The stuff got weirder. I moved further down his Facebook timeline and found weird pictures of blood and stuff. Ugh. Everything was so dark. Clearly, the guy was an amateur photographer so this was supposed to be art. The problem was, it made me feel really grossed out.
  6. He was so different in real life. The thing that got me the most about all this was that the way he was online was so different from his real life persona. His Facebook page made him out to be this hardcore guy who had a huge emo streak. In person, he was light and gentle. WTF was going on?
  7. I was turned off. It felt wrong to judge him for his social media presence, but I felt that what was on that Facebook page was a part of him. I wouldn’t put something on my social media accounts that didn’t at least reflect something about me. Even though people can fake things online, it was impossible for him to be faking all this. These were things that reflected his personality. They turned me off him in a big way.
  8. He’d been hiding. He hadn’t added me on Facebook when we first met, so maybe this was why. He had a side to him he didn’t want me to see, perhaps because it was so different from who I am. This felt really sneaky. It was like he’d “reverse catfished” me—he’d pretended to be what I wanted in real life but was a complete weirdo online.
  9. He wasn’t my type. I don’t think I could be with a guy who was so different from who I am. Although we’d had a connection in person, it didn’t feel real now that I’d seen his Facebook life.
  10. I rejected him. He wanted to see me again and I made up an excuse, then later told him I didn’t see romantic potential for us. He took it well and suggested we remain friends. It was for the best. I just couldn’t seem to blend the two sides to him that I’d seen and it wasn’t fair to lead him on or waste his time.
  11. I don’t regret what I did. It might seem sneaky to check out his Facebook timeline and do such investigative work but I don’t regret it. People tend to put their best feet forward on first dates, so it’s good to check them out to see what else they’re about. I’m glad I got insight into him so that I knew what I’d be getting myself into and could GTFO.
  12. I have standards. I might seem way too fussy for my own good, but honestly, I have standards that I won’t change to accommodate a guy. One of my standards is to feel good about someone I’ve started dating. If something just feels “off,” I don’t see the point of pursuing things.
  13. People should Google each other on dates. I’d be up for my date and I whipping out our phones and looking each other up on Google in front of each other on a first date! It should form part of the “getting to know each other” phase because it’s so important. Then, we could ask each other questions about what we find online to suss out if we’re a match or not. It would make things so much easier than having to snoop around in private.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.