Liking Me “Too Much” To Date Me Is The Worst Excuse I’ve Ever Heard

We’ve been on a few dates, things are going well, and then suddenly, the guy shuts it all down, claiming that he can’t date me because he likes me too much. WTF? It’s total BS and no one in their right mind would believe that excuse. He doesn’t like me too much — in fact, he doesn’t like me nearly enough.

  1. It’s a big fat lie. I feel like a guy saying he likes me too much to date me is just as bad as the lies guys tell when they say they’re not looking for a relationship or they’re not into marriage. Feeling too much for someone is like saying you love chocolate too much to eat it or you like sex too much to have it. WTF? It makes no sense and feels like a coward’s way out.
  2. There’s never enough feeling. The whole point of dating is to find someone who sparks something and makes you want to be with them, right? If he’s seeing loads of women with no intention of finding one he actually likes enough to make his girlfriend, that’s messed up. Why bother dating at all? Just stick to one-night stands and leave your feelings at the door.
  3. Real feelings cause action. A guy who feels something for me will want to be with me, end of story. He won’t want to waste a minute that he could have spent with me by his side. A guy who tells me he feels too much to date me doesn’t have those kinds of feelings — not even close — and that couldn’t be more obvious.
  4. Love makes you want to face your fears. I don’t care what kind of issues a guy is experiencing. When he meets the right woman, he’ll want to be with her. He’ll face those fears because that’s what love does — it pushes you to become better. It certainly doesn’t push people away.
  5. I’ve seen guys step up big time. I knew a guy who used to say he was afraid of commitment. He’d jump from relationship to relationship until he met a woman he really liked. Suddenly, he became the kind of guy who wanted to be exclusive, who missed her like hell when she was away and would drive half an hour on a Saturday morning to check his work email so he could see if she had sent him a message. If a guy’s not ready to do the same for me, he clearly doesn’t have the feelings he says he does.
  6. I need someone serious. Guys who say crap like, “I like you too much to date you” show me yet again how I’m sick of dealing with liars and guys who pretend to be confused about what they want. They’re not confused, they’re just hoping to confuse me with their lame excuses. Screw that. I want a guy who’s serious about me and unafraid to be real.
  7. I don’t have time for lukewarm lovers. It’s sad how so many people overuse the words “like” and “love.” If a guy telling me he likes me too much to date me really thinks that’s what liking someone is about, I feel sorry for him. He has no idea what really liking someone is like. He can enjoy his lukewarm existence somewhere else because I want something real and hot.
  8. He’s obviously cool with giving up a chance with me. I don’t know what happened. Maybe guys who give me this lame excuse really do like me but someone else has caught his eye. Maybe he’s just not into me at all. Whatever the reason, I can’t tear myself up about his decision. He’s making the choice to give up a chance to date me. At least I’ve been honest about wanting a shot with him so I can walk away without regrets.  
  9. Maybe he wants to casually date. I give off relationship vibes, I know this. I’m not into flings or one-night stands, and men I date can tell this right away. So when this guy tells me he can’t date me because he has feelings for me, it makes it clear to me that he wants to stick to casual dating. That’s like staying in the kiddie pool instead of leaping into the grown-up one. I don’t have time for that.
  10. I’m learning to value my opinion more than guys’. After spending too long feeling rejected, I’ve realized that I need to value my opinions about myself much more than other people’s opinions of me. Just because a guy rejects me doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with me. Even if the truth was that he doesn’t feel for me, that’s okay. Not everyone is going to like me and the quicker I know that, the faster I can move on and find someone who’s worth my time and feelings.
Jessica Blake is a writer who loves good books and good men, and realizes how difficult it is to find both.