If you’ve recently parted ways with your ex and are still pining for them, that’s completely normal, especially if you were together for a long time. But after a while of sobbing into tubs of ice cream and swearing off dating forever, it’s time to move on—and here’s how.
Cut all communication.
Breakup rule 101: the only way that you can truly get over someone is by cutting all contact. This means no calls, no WhatsApp messages, and absolutely no drunk texts at 2.a.m after a boozy night out. I know it’s difficult, but how do you expect to heal and absolve yourself of your romantic feelings if you’re still speaking to your ex constantly? Exactly—you can’t.
Delete them off social media.
Just because you’ve cut all communication with your ex doesn’t mean you should stay “friends” with them on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook or whatever social media platform you’re on. It’s too tempting to spy on their profiles and see how well they’re getting on without you in their life. It becomes addictive and unhealthy. Plus, if they look like they’re having the best time as a singleton and start dating other people before you can even bring yourself to change your relationship status, this will only hurt you more.
Focus on yourself.
You’ve just been in a relationship for however many months or years, which means that it’s been a while since you focused on yourself. It’s about time that you gave yourself some TLC. What do you want from life? What do you want next for yourself? Is there something you couldn’t do in your past relationship that you can do now? Take some time to figure out your next move and reflect on how you can improve your life. You’re now the only one who’s calling the shots.
Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel.
One of the worst things that you can do post-breakup is repress all of the emotions that you’re going through. It’s so easy to do when it feels like there’s an empty space in your chest, but you need to allow yourself to go through the motions. Don’t turn to alcohol or distract yourself with a new love interest. Cry and shout if you need to. In the long run, dealing with each emotion there and then is only going to help you in future relationships—and it will also help you to grow as an individual and become even stronger.
Have some much-needed self-care time.
Being alone is a big adjustment when you’ve been in a relationship for a long time. Learn to be just with yourself again by looking after yourself and making YOU your number one priority. Whether it’s treating yourself to a bubble bath every night, trying a new hobby, or moving across the country for that job you’ve always wanted, now’s the time to put yourself first—and simultaneously stick two fingers up to your ex.
Exercise is a well-known mood booster that is always recommended as a helpful way to battle depression and anxiety. Alongside releasing endorphins (the feel-good hormones), physical activity stimulates the release of serotonin, which can positively impact the serotonin levels in your brain and your overall sense of well-being. Therefore, be sure to do it regularly as a way to help you feel better.
Spend time with loved ones.
Another way to get over your ex for good is by spending time with loved ones. Whether it’s one family member or ten different friends, lean on your support system whenever you need to and don’t be afraid to tell them how you’re feeling. Practically everyone over the age of 21 has been through a breakup before and understands what you’re going through, so use this to your advantage and don’t hold back.
Be around people.
Even if your loved ones aren’t always available, try to be around people as much as you can. This can help you feel less alone when you’re going through a breakup. Work for yourself? Head to your local coffee shop. Live alone? Stay at your friend’s house a couple of nights a week. Trust me, even when the last thing that you want is to be around others, it really helps put things into perspective because you realize that everybody has stuff going on.
Get away for a while.
Sometimes when a breakup is raw and your ex is everywhere that you look, it’s best just to get away for a while. Whether this is a week away with your friends or a weekend at home with your family, remove yourself from your usual surroundings and go do something fun somewhere else with some people who matter to you. Bonus points if it involves exploring a new place that you’ve never been before with new people.
Remove everything from your life that reminds you of them.
Once time has passed and you’re pretty much 100% over your ex, the last thing you can do which shows that you’re done with them for good is to remove everything from your life that reminds you of them. If you’re still hanging on to sentimental things like the necklace that they bought you for your birthday or the cuddly toy they bought you when you were sick, then you’ll never be fully over the breakup. Likewise, delete their family members and friends off social media and erase their numbers from your phone because you’re never going to need them again.
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