I’ve Literally Never Been On A Date & I Never Will

I love being in love but I hate the very idea of dating. While it might seem like you can’t have one without the other, I disagree. I’ve never gone on a date and I never will—here’s why.

  1. Dating just feels so forced. Most of the time, you’re worried about who will break the ice first and when the conversation is awkward or doesn’t go the way you want, you have to plaster a smile on your face for the sake of politeness and pretend that everything’s fine. Sure, not all dates are bad dates, but I feel like the overwhelming majority of them are.
  2. It’s the opposite of going with the flow. How many times have you had to reschedule a date because you or the other person was “busy”? How many boring, monotonous dates have you gone on just because you hate canceling plans? It’s all about keeping up appearances rather than connecting with people you actually like and might have a future with.
  3. Dating doesn’t give you chance to be friends. Just because you go out to dinner with a guy doesn’t mean you actually know them after those few hours. For me, being friends first is so important and to grow that strong foundation into something greater (if we have that kind of connection) is a beautiful thing. It’s like men and women can only relate to each other in a romantic sense and finding a guy to hang out with platonically is nearly impossible. It’s so annoying.
  4. Dating doesn’t guarantee exclusivity. I’m pretty chill but I’m not about to spend time and energy trying to get to know a guy in a dating situation, only to find out that he’s actually seeing three other women at the same time. If guys were actually looking for love, they’d be looking for it with one person rather than as many they can swipe right on at a time.
  5. There’s too much dishonesty. I have heard so many of my friends complain that they found out that their partner told them they weren’t looking for anything serious after they’d been dating for months or that they were cheating on them even though they swore they were loyal. Obviously, not everyone will lie and betray you, but the fact that so many people do is enough to put me off dating entirely.
  6. Dating is a waste of time and money. Isn’t it? I mean you hit it off, go on a few dates… then the other person disappears without a word. Then you start the process all over again. How would I know this if I haven’t even dated yet, you ask? Well, not a single day goes by without guys telling me how much money they’ve wasted trying to impress women or women telling me how much time they’ve spent trying to make a relationship work when the guy “just wanted to have fun.”
  7. You can’t really be yourself on dating apps. I’ve tried a few dating apps, not for dating but just to make friends—and it’s actually worked! However, I’ve realized that these apps definitely don’t encourage you to be yourself. You’re being judged by the few lines you write in your bio and the pics you upload and that’s about it. You have to look cool even on dating apps if you want a match.
  8. Frankly, dating is kind of sexist. I could never swipe right with a guy on dating apps just because he’s hot. I judge people on who they are, not what they look like. But how many times have you heard/experienced guys only swiping right on women who they find hot/potentially easy? I’ve been told many times by guys that they only swiped right on me because they thought I was attractive and frankly, I was more offended than flattered. Yeah, appearance is one of the only things you have to go on when it comes to dating apps (which is a problem in and of itself), but come on!
Bolde Voices represents writers from around the world who want to share their stories anonymously. While everything you read is based on personal experience, it's the ability to tell their truths without being identified that allows those behind the pieces you read to be so brutally honest.