Do you feel like you’re doing everything in your power to get guys’ interest and it’s just not happening!? It might be because of these 10 things.
You’re generally anxious. If you tend to be running on anxiety fumes more often than not, it might be time to hit up some therapy, take prescription meds, or find some other way to regain some peace and composure. Even though women tend to be a lot more emotionally advanced than guys, guys can still sense when you don’t want to be approached or when you’re feeling threatened in a social situation. Find ways to calm your mind in social situations so you don’t panic when a guy does start talking to you.
You’re too pretty. Some girls are just so overwhelmingly attractive that average guys would rather sit on the sidelines and stare than to actually approach. It’s not worth getting turned down by a pretty girl so they don’t even try. There’s also the chance that they assume you’re already taken since you’re so hot.
You seem judgmental. Some girls can give off a bit of a stand-offish vibe even before they talk to you. You can just tell that they’re probably super bitchy and mean. If you have a permanent scowl, intention or not, you’re likely not coming off as approachable. A good way to eradicate this attitude is to start seeing yourself in a more compassionate, non-judgemental light and that will translate directly to the people around you—including any guys who are interested in you.
You’re too sexy. Is there such thing as being too sexy? Yes and no! If you’re wearing a super hot outfit, then of course guys will approach you—but let’s not forget how much things have changed in the rules of sexual interaction in the last year or two thanks to the #MeToo movement. It’s no longer appropriate for a guy to openly comment on a woman’s body (which is a very good thing), so dressing super sexy could actually be scaring guys away. They don’t wanna get called out for being creeps and you can’t blame them.
You’re wearing a potato sack. You’re honestly not doing yourself any favors by dressing like an mid-century farm worker. Your sparkling personality should be the reason guys approach you, but they can’t see this million dollar personality from afar. Guys judge on appearances when they look at a girl from across the room and only when they get up close will they be able to find out what you’re truly like. Make your outside match your inside. You’ll be surprised how much of a boost it’ll give you in your dating life.
You’re always in a bad mood. Guys pick up on that—it’s an energy thing. People are really good at noticing these subtle cues that you’re not in the mood to talk. You could be looking down a lot, be literally closed off body language-wise, and maybe even have a downward intonation in your voice. Some guys (usually the insecure ones) will actually be attracted to this because they want to try to win you over, but for the most part, they don’t like being around someone who’s mopey 24/7.
You only talk about yourself. It’s hard not to talk about yourself when something is bothering you, but when guys see that you’re super wrapped up in whatever you’re doing, there’s not really room for them to approach and create a cool conversation with you. Something very well could be wrong in your life, but there’s a difference between sharing your life experience with people and being a narcissist.
You dominate conversations. This can happen naturally if you’re super intelligent or witty. However, a lot of guys are intimidated by a woman who can and does carry the conversation all on her own. It’s like being scared to talk to the comedian because you’re afraid they’ll come back with some clever line to burn you. If you’re one of these whip-smart girls, please don’t dumb yourself down so guys won’t be intimidated by you. Keep your motor mouth going, just try to be nice about it. Use your powers for good, not evil.
You act like a friend instead of a love interest. You think it’s inappropriate to flirt and talk about cheeky things with guys because, well, I don’t know why, but I would encourage you to test the waters a bit. Bring up some suggestive topics and relate them to the guy you’re talking to. Talk about how you just bought a new bra but you don’t think it fits, or literally just compliment the guy and be like, “I like guys who are sensitive… kinda like you actually.” You’re planting seeds of potentiality here! Try it!
You have a deep fear of intimacy. If you’re truly afraid of getting close to people, you won’t be getting a lot of guys coming up to you. Feeling closed off and threatened by men is all too common with women, especially in the millennial generation. If you can find it in you to trust guys again, they’ll pick up on that and will feel comfortable approaching. This isn’t something you can fix overnight, but the first step is realizing that you are triggered by the thought of getting close with a guy, notice it and when it comes up, and find ways to calm down.
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