I Only Have Long Distance Relationships—In Person Dating Isn’t For Me

I used to think long-distance relationships were a horrible phase you went through before your real relationship started, but nowadays I actually prefer dating guys who live far away. Distance may seem like a limitation, but it actually comes with a whole lot of benefits.

I like my apartment just the way it is and I want to keep it that way.

I’ve worked hard to get my space to be just the way I want it. I have no desire to move anywhere else, move in with a guy or even have someone else’s stuff all over my space on a regular basis. Dating someone from out of town means I can stay happily territorial without having to define any boundaries myself because distance has already done it for me.

I like being in charge of my schedule too.

Just like my space, I’ve arranged my life to be the perfect mix of work and fun. I’m not really ready to give up my autonomy at this stage and have a relationship take over. On the other hand, it’s nice to have someone to talk to and even nicer to have someone to see every once in a while when I have time.

It feels like being single and in a relationship at the same time.

Sure, sometimes I’m alone when I’d rather not be, but ultimately I see it as the best of both worlds. I have someone who loves me, but I also get to live the single life and relate to people as myself rather than just as part of a couple. I’m with someone when I want to be (schedule permitting) and I’m on my own when I want to be. I wish I’d realized years ago that life could be this convenient.

When we visit each other, it’s always a big deal.

Dating someone who lives far away means you’re spared the mundane details of each other’s lives. Every visit is a special occasion and every date is amazing. The honeymoon period is never over when you’re dating someone long-distance and that’s a definite plus.

Annoying habits are less annoying in small doses.

I think I’d get tired of anyone sooner or later if I spent enough time with them, but when you only see your S.O. every once in a while and tend to only do fun stuff together, you’re spared having to deal with their mess or the fact that they don’t like doing the dishes. Who’s to say you have to put up with all that stuff for it to be a “real” relationship? Why not just enjoy the best bits of someone’s personality instead?

I get to travel more when I’m dating someone long-distance.

He visits me, I visit him, we go away together because we’re both so used to traveling—either way, it ends up being far more fun than your average relationship. I’ve discovered so many new cities by accidentally ending up in relationships with people who live there.

I can feel intensely without it taking over my entire life.

I tend to get sucked into relationships and if the guy is nearby, I’ll always be wanting to see him and spend time with him. Dating someone further away means I can still have an emotionally intense relationship while keeping my own independence. It’s a lot healthier and keeps me sane.

I have more time for my friends and family without having to feel guilty about it.

As long as I make time when my boyfriend visits, I’m free to hang out with the other important people in my life for some one-on-one QT the rest of the time. None of my relationships have had to change even though I’ve been happily dating and in love for ages.

I have more time for my own projects and my work doesn’t have to suffer.

 As a workaholic, I don’t have much time and energy to give a full-time, live-in boyfriend and this means I don’t have to. Even better, as long as the guy I’m dating feels the same way, I don’t have to worry about having any heavy relationship conversations of the “where do we go from here?” kind.

I’m not a very traditional person so this is the perfect arrangement for me.

Just because we’re used to people meeting, falling in love, moving in together, and getting married doesn’t mean that’s the only way to love and be loved. As long as both people involved are happy with the way things are, I see no problem with creating a relationship that fits around the rest of your life. I know I’m certainly much happier since I’ve realized my life doesn’t have to have a romantic relationship at its center.

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