Opinion: Long Distance Relationships Never Work

Opinion: Long Distance Relationships Never Work ©iStock/Rohappy

If you think love can withstand the distance, then you need to know what you’re really setting yourself up for: a lot of nights in with a face on your computer. If that doesn’t seem like a big deal, trust me, I lived it, and I now realize that long distance relationships just don’t work.

  1. Technology doesn’t bridge the gap. One of the big arguments in favor of long distance relationships in the modern age is technology will make your time apart virtually unnoticeable. It doesn’t. You notice every day that your partner isn’t physically there. Sure, your relationship may be built on communication, but it’s not the same as actually being with one another.
  2. You live separate lives. Whether you’re the type of couple that likes to be with each other all the time or the kind that needs their space, couples are normally involved in each other’s every day lives. You’re out in the world meeting new people and making new friends without your partner. Their work and home life are both separate from yours, even if you catch up at night.
  3. You change. Most people grow and change over the years. When you divulge yourself into a serious relationship, you grow together. When you’re away from each other, you grow apart. You’re not making changes together like most couples, and instead of being part of a team, you’re each solo players.
  4. Distance makes the heart fade. Whoever said distance makes the heart grow fonder didn’t have a clue what they were talking about. Think of all the ways you make each other laugh in person, your mannerisms, tickles, kisses… that’s all gone. It’s like being caught in a continuous text flirtation that never makes it to an actual date.
  5. It’s expensive. Whether you have to drive a few hours or spend the day on a plane, living away from your partner is going to drain your bank account. At the end of the day, the farther away it is, the more money it’s going to take.
  6. You don’t have the time. Do you have the time to travel across state every weekend? What about across the country? Can you handle only seeing your significant other on holidays or are you that lucky person with unlimited paid vacation? Not likely. Either way you’ll be spending half of that time driving in the car or dealing with the airport.
  7. Your entire relationship is a compromise. You’re both compromising on the idea of being away from each other, but it isn’t just that. You’re also compromising your time and that can affect your friendships and your work. Instead of going out, you’re staying in to FaceTime with your man. It sounds sweet, but night after night, you’re chained to the couch when you could be out having real life interactions.
  8. You may not end up in the same place. Eventually, one of you will have to move to be with the other. Which one of you is going to make that compromise? Are you willing to move away from your friends and family, or is he? Do you like the location? Moving to a different city solely for your man means he’s all you have there. Never make a man the sole center of your life.

In the end, the best thing you can do for yourself is go out and live your life, even if that means parting from the man you love. Can you survive the distance? Odds are, probably not, so in the end is the hassle and heartbreak really worth it? That’s up to you, but don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.