The Longer You’re Single, The More You Realize These 11 Things

When you’ve been single for a long time, you gain clarity and perspective that you lack when you’re constantly going on dates or in relationships. In fact, the longer you spend rolling solo, the more you realize these things.

  1. Relationships are overrated. Seriously, they’re seen as the be all, end all of life and you sometimes don’t get it. Yeah, you’ve had some decent relationships in the past, but it’s not like you’re lost without romance in your life. Where’s all the praise for the single life? That’s SO much better.
  2. There’s nothing a partner can give you that you can’t give yourself. Date nights? Check. Flowers just because? You bet. Orgasms? Duh (sometimes even more than a date). You provide for all your own needs and don’t feel like there’s anything you’re missing out on by being single.
  3. It feels damn good to be so self-sufficient. There’s a certain pride that comes with bossing your life completely on your own. Of course, you have to thank your amazing friends and family who serve as your cheerleaders, but all of your achievements and accomplishments are all thanks to you. You pay your own bills, put a roof over your head and food over your table solo and it feels incredible.
  4. It’s possible to have a full life without romantic love. While a healthy, happy relationship can add a lot to your life, it wouldn’t complete it. That’s because your life is already complete so a partner would just be the cherry on top of an already amazing sundae. You have a killer career, an amazing support system, tons of passions and hobbies… what more could you want?
  5. Sometimes it’d be nice to have someone to cuddle with, though. I mean, you’re only human after all. When it’s cold outside and the couch or your bed seems just a little too big, a nice pair of strong, warm arms would go over just fine. You’re very rarely lonely but you do appreciate a little physical affection every now and then. Who wouldn’t?
  6. And sex on the rare occasion you’re in the mood would be great too. You don’t want it often but there are some times when getting yourself off just isn’t as exciting as having someone rip your clothes off and just going at it with them. A relationship might offer regular sex but since you don’t necessarily want it regularly, this is quite a conundrum…
  7. Dating is a total nightmare and more often than not a waste of time. You’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt and you’re kinda over it. Every time you’ve tried to put your best foot forward and genuinely look for love, it’s always backfired and ended up being a massive waste of time. You have better things to do than put your heart into something just to have it shattered. Next time, you’ll have to be 100% sure and no one’s made you feel like that just yet.
  8. Love really is nothing like it’s portrayed in the movies. You grow up watching Disney movies and rom-coms that make love out to be this wonderful, magical thing. It can be sometimes, but that’s called the honeymoon period and it ends sooner rather than later. In real life, love is messy, hard, and doesn’t always pay off in the end. You seriously wish those movies would have given you more realistic expectations.
  9. It feels pretty good to be selfish. Not having to think about or consult anyone else when making decisions for your life, big or small, is pretty great. Want to move to a new city? You can! Want to order Chinese for dinner instead of cooking the curry you bought the ingredients for yesterday? Go for it! All your decisions are your own to make and oh man, is it sweet.
  10. Your life has so much less drama than your coupled-up friends’ lives. When your friends talk to you about all their relationship drama, all you can think is, “Damn, I’m glad that’s not me.” Sure, some of them are in happy relationships and wouldn’t trade their partners despite the difficulties, but you can’t lie and say their lives don’t seem like soap operas more often than not.
  11. You’ll be OK if you never find love (even if you are kind of afraid of dying alone). You’re not against the idea of being in a long-term relationship. In fact, you’d actually like to be one day. However, if it doesn’t happen for you for whatever reason, you know you’ll be just fine on your own because you already are. That’s comforting (even if it is a little scary).
Piper is a NYC-based writer who loves dogs, iced coffee, and calling people out on their BS.