The Longer You’re Single, The More These Things Start Happening

Being single for an extended period of time can be horrible or the best ever, depending on your attitude. Sometimes it’s even both of those things at the same time (as if dating wasn’t confusing enough). Either way, the longer you’re on your own, the more likely you are to notice that certain things that keep happening…

  1. Bad dates become the norm. This is a really crappy side-effect of the fabulous single life, but it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. When you go on a lot of first dates, you probably end up going on a lot of crappy dates since, well, not everything is a love connection. The thing is that you tend to get used to it the longer you’re single. Is that good because at least you’re not disappointed? Maybe. That’s up to you to decide.
  2. First date pressure goes out the window. You probably don’t pressure yourself to meet your future soulmate on your next date as much anymore… or even to have fun. You should know that this stuff is totally out of your control and that all you can do is show up, show off your personality, and hope for the best. Gone are the days of pre-date stomachaches and worry. At least you don’t miss those, right?
  3. You start to realize that you can always move on. Didn’t meet a decent guy this time? It’s probably no biggie once you’ve been riding solo for a while. You can go home and turn on the TV and by the time you go to bed, you’ve already moved on from the evening. It’s truly a skill.
  4. You develop dating amnesia. Sure, you’ve likely been on a whole lot of bad dates, but you can probably forget about them as soon as you focus on something else these days. You basically get dating amnesia since you keep trying and meeting new people even though you’ve experienced the worst of what humanity has to offer.
  5. You get comfy with yourself. You likely really know who you are since you’ve had the time and space to breathe and make your own choices. You really like yourself these days and you don’t think you would be in such a good place if you had been in a super serious relationship this entire time.
  6. You become less crazy picky. You still probably have an idea of the kind of guy you want to be with, but you don’t think the same way that you did before. Maybe you want someone with a career that they love, even if it’s the total opposite of yours, and that’s a real change. The longer you stay single, the more you realize that couples can be completely different in some ways and it can still work out.
  7. You begin to understand it’s not your fault. At first, you might wonder if you’re failing at first dates or something, and you wish there was a class you could take so you could learn what to say and how to act. The more you’re on your own, though, the more you understand that this whole single thing isn’t your fault at all. There are circumstances way beyond your control at work here.
  8. You learn to go with the flow. When a guy reschedules a plan or something doesn’t work out, you probably used to freak out. You can admit that now. Today, you’re so cool with being single, you can honestly go with the flow and let what’s supposed to happen, happen. You are so zen.
  9. Finding love is no longer crucial. Yes, finding love would absolutely be super nice. You still want that and you’re still searching for it, but it’s not the most important thing in your world. The longer you’re on your own, the more likely you are to realize that it’s okay to live this way and that it’s not actually so bad after all.
  10. You start to focus on other things. Suddenly you have this big, full life and it’s got nothing to do with having a boyfriend or not. You can focus on things other than dating and not feel one ounce of guilt. You know that you’re doing what you can to meet someone, but in the meantime, you’re good.
  11. You begin to feel grateful. You have a lot of good stuff in your life and you should never forget that, not for a second. You’re grateful and you’re anything but devastated that you’re not in a relationship right now. So what? Your love story will happen. For now, you’re single and that’s totally okay. And it becomes more and cooler the longer you stay this way.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.