What To Look For When You’re Social Media Stalking Him

Admit it: you’re a social media stalker. It’s OK — we all are. It’s impossible not to be when you have a first date lined up, the world (or the Internet) is at your fingertips, and you can find out everything you need to know pre-date. Once upon a time, it was all about Facebook, but now we have the joys of Instagram and Twitter at our stalking disposal, too. You probably feel pretty guilty and think you’re doing something wrong, but you’re definitely not. Here are the 9 things you need to look for when you’re social media stalking. Google is pretty awesome, so you might as well use it and save yourself the trouble of an awkward first date. We’ve all had enough of those.

  1. If he’s a complainer. Whether or not you believe in deal breakers, one thing that is usually a pretty massive turn-off is if someone complains all the time. I know that I absolutely can’t stand spending time with a whiner who is never happy about anything. So if every single tweet he sends out into the universe is a huge complaint, well, you probably don’t want to go on that date after all. You just saved yourself a few hours of total negativity.
  2. If his Instagram account is Selfie City. OK, so we all indulge in a selfie every now and then. But it can be kind of weird if that’s all that a guy posts. He’s probably a narcissist or at least a little too into himself. In other words, he’s probably not someone you want to date after all.
  3. What his personality is truly like. Of course we all make our lives seem super shiny and perfect online, at least some of the time, and that definitely sucks because it’s basically all a lie. You just know your friend spent an hour arranging her cup of coffee and notebook perfectly so she could get the best Instagram shot. But some part of our personality makes it into our online presence or else we’d all be total psychopaths who are basically Catfishing everyone, and we know that’s not the case. So if you’re searching his Facebook and Twitter accounts, what you see is what you’re going to get on your date. If he’s funny and posts thoughtful political stuff, then that’s great. If not, then he might not be all that interesting in real life.
  4. If he has a sense of humor. My #1 thing is a sense of humor. Life is hard enough and if you can’t laugh at yourself or the crazy stuff that happens to you, well then I don’t really want to be friends with you, let alone date you. Maybe that doesn’t matter to you so much but if it does, you definitely want to see if his tweets are funny or just plain mean.
  5. If he has friends. OK, he probably does have some friends, but watch out for how often people interact with him on his Facebook page. Granted, we don’t all chat on Facebook pages as much as we used to, but if he’s posting into a void and no one ever comments on his political rants or his vacation photos, then he might be a weird loner.
  6. If you have anything in common. Sure, you’re not exactly going to bring up that you poured over his Facebook for five hours and learned every movie that he likes. But you can casually bring up your love for a certain film director and let him take the bait. We know there are zero guarantees in life or dating (that should be a bumper sticker) but it can be a good idea to have some talking points saved up while you’re calming those crazy nerves down on your way to meet him at a bar.
  7. If a million girls comment on his Facebook and Instagram. It’s not like you think that no girls should ever get near your man. You’re not that jealous or crazy. But it’s not always the best sign when a guy has tons of girls showering attention on him on a daily basis.
  8. If you might be in for any nasty surprises down the line. Again, there are no guarantees, and even the most perfect-seeming relationships can fade faster than you can blink. But there’s something to be said for being as prepared as you possibly can before you go out with someone.
  9. If he approaches dating like a job interview (as it should be). It would be funny if you said on a first date, “So you obviously Googled me – what did you find out?” Social media stalking is an unspoken rule of the dating world and yet someone interviewing you for a job has no issues asking you what research you’ve done on the company. So own it, just don’t mention it (at least not until the second date).
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.