I’m Looking For A Guy Who’s Not Afraid To Cry In Front Of Me—Here’s Why

The notion that “real men don’t cry” is such outdated BS. Stoic is out and tears are in—at least for me. I’m only looking to get down and dirty with guys who aren’t afraid to express their feelings in front of me, so cry away!

  1. Vulnerability strengthens a relationship. I really like being single (and I’m not the only one), so if I’m going to give up the single life for a relationship, you’d better believe it’s because I have a deep connection with that man. In my opinion, it’s virtually impossible to truly build a connection without exposing yourself and being vulnerable. Crying is one example of vulnerability. I want to be vulnerable with him and I want him to be similarly open with me.
  2. I’m not into “cool” guys. If he’s too concerned about what crying in front of a woman (or anyone) would do to his image, then he’s definitely not the guy for me. That’s a sign that he’s more into himself and how people perceive him than our connection. No thank you. There’s nothing “cool” about that guy, believe me!
  3. It takes a lot of courage to cry. I don’t think of crying as a weakness, I see it as brave. If a man is comfortable enough in our relationship to truly show me how he’s feeling and admit he needs help then I feel honored, not burdened. Pro tip, guys: this courage and openness is a major turn-on!
  4. You can’t do anything in a silo. A man who isn’t willing to share his emotions is trying to operate on his own, and we all know how well that story ends. This goes back to vulnerability and connection. A man who’s trying to “stay strong” and refuses to let anyone in won’t be able to form real connections. I’d rather stay single than try to get into a relationship with someone I can’t connect with.
  5. I’m in tune with myself. I want him to be too. I’ve done a lot of work on personal development. Basically, that means I meditate and do yoga and try to be in tune with how I’m feeling about both important and trivial things in my life. I like to think I’m pretty in touch with myself and my emotions, and I look for the same in a potential partner.
  6. I actually want to offer emotional support. If my guy is upset, I want to be the one he turns to for comfort and support. I have two shoulders and I’ll gladly give him both to lean on. By showing me he wants my support and giving me the chance to offer it, he’s helping strengthen our relationship even more. I’m not saying I want him to cry, but I kind of want him to cry…
  7. I grew up with a dad who cries at seasonal Canadian Tire commercials. Seriously. Trolling my dad on Snapchat while he tears up over commercials is a fun pastime, but his open displays of emotion have made me accustomed to this behavior and I look for the same in a potential partner. These aren’t daddy issues, this is a deep respect for the man who showed me it’s OK to wear your heart on your sleeve, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this has become such a strong quality I look for in a partner.
  8. I’m going to cry in front of him, so why shouldn’t he do the same? This one time when I was PMSing hard I came home to find my roommate had eaten my leftover chicken fried rice. THE chicken fried rice I had been dreaming about eating all day. Basically, it was all too much and I started to cry. I’m talking ugly cry—makeup running down my face and gasping in breaths of air between sobs. If I’m in a relationship with someone, I’m going to be expressing my emotions on the regular. I want him to be just as open with me. If he’s not, I may not feel like I can express myself as openly, and I just don’t vibe with that.
  9. Repressed emotions can lead to some serious stuff. If he’s not crying in front of me, he might have some repression thing going on. I’m so not ready to figure that out. I want to be in a relationship with someone who is confident enough to express their emotions freely. I shouldn’t need a psych degree to figure out what’s going on inside his head.
  10. Societal norms can suck it! Why is it a thing in our society that it’s socially unacceptable for men to cry? Yes, the opinion on this is shifting, but it’s still stigmatized and I think that needs to change. Women get to express their emotions freely without reproach and men should too. I’m all for a man who isn’t afraid to show his emotions, social norms be damned!
Carly is a millennial living the laptop lifestyle. She works with companies to establish or improve their online and print presence. She's addicted to earl grey tea and her dog. Find her on instagram @carly_lynnn.