Your Looks Are Important, But They Aren’t Everything

Your Looks Are Important, But They Aren’t Everything ©iStock/gruizza

As women, we tend to spend a great deal of time in front of the mirror. We scrutinize everything from our hair, makeup, and clothing to our noses, eyelashes, and hell, even our thighs. But as we all know, though our looks are important to the way the world perceives us, they do fade, and they aren’t (and shouldn’t be) our most valued asset. So here are a few things that are even more important than your looks, and that have the potential to impress others just as much:

  1. Your health. When you’re healthy, you just look better. Your skin glows, your hair flows, and your body looks amazing in that red dress. Being healthy doesn’t mean you look like a supermodel or that you have a six pack though; it just means you pay attention to what you’re eating, how much alcohol you’re drinking, and you stay moderately active. Without health, you really have nothing.
  2. Confidence. When a confident woman walks into a room, people can tell. It’s just attractive to be sure of yourself and know that you’re a capable human being, as opposed to someone who’s pretty but doesn’t think she’s qualified to even order a scotch on the rocks. Confidence radiates and gets people to notice you for who you are. Add some stilettos in there, and you’ve got yourself any man in the room.
  3. A sense of humor. Life isn’t always perfect, so when you get thrown an odd ball, sometimes it’s best to just laugh it off. You can’t take yourself (or others) so seriously all the time, because things will never go as planned and you’ll just end up disappointed and with high blood pressure. Your ability to laugh at yourself is also an attractive quality because it shows you can take a joke and that you’re easy-going.
  4. The ability to change. Being able to adapt is almost necessary in today’s world, because things are changing at incredible rates. If you can’t keep up, you risk falling behind everyone else. Though you don’t need to devote your life to learning how to use all the new tech that comes out every year, you do need to keep an open mind and be willing to learn. Wanting to learn is always a trait you can never go wrong with.
  5. A support system. This goes for both family and friends. Without them, we find ourselves feeling down and empty, and it has a direct influence on our moods and confidence. People who support you are incredibly important because there comes a time in everyone’s life where they run into a problem and need some help, or even just a pick-me-up. And without people who love you and care for you in your time of need, it’s easy to stray and go down a dark path you can never return from.
  6. Self-motivation. Sometimes, we get stuck in a routine that isn’t good for us, but that we can’t seem to break free of. When you realize you’re doing the same things, day in and day out, but getting nothing out of it, that means it’s time for a change. And the thing that will help you most to break free is how motivated you are. It’s not how many degrees you have, and especially not how you look. It’s pure motivation to make a better life for yourself so that you don’t wake up 20 years from now in the same place, looking 40 years older.
  7. Passion for what you love. Not everyone has found their passion, but that doesn’t mean not everyone has one. If there’s something you care about in the world so much that you’d devote your life to it if only it could pay the bills, then consider yourself truly lucky. A passion gives us something to strive for and want to improve for, and it gives us meaning. It also shows others that we care about something other than ourselves, and that we’re real. That’s why someone with a passion is so goddamn beautiful just on their own.
  8. Honesty with yourself. What’s life without honesty? If you can’t be honest with yourself, then you’re living a lie, an illusion. You can tell yourself all sorts of things, that you’re happy, successful, that you love the guy you’re with, but none of those mean anything if you don’t feel them and are merely going through the motions just to fit and avoid confrontation. Above everything else in your life, if you’re not honest and refuse to see reality for what it is, then nothing else really matters, because none of it is real.
Chelsey is a freelance writer in NYC. She's pretty normal by today's standards, or at least that's what her mother tells her.