Losers I’ve Dated & What They Taught Me About Love

When someone hurts you, it can stay with you forever. You’ve probably been told to forgive and forget, but should you? If you forget, then did you really learn anything? I’ve dated a lot of jerks in my day, and I’ve learned something from each of them.

  1. The cheater. I can’t stress enough how much you shouldn’t stay with a cheater. It was a mistake, he was drunk, it just happened… There is NO excuse for being unfaithful. Forgive and let the anger go, but then dump his ass and move on to something better.
  2. The backstabber. Did his friend like you first? Well, if he felt perfectly fine stabbing a good friend in the back, what do you expect him to do to you? The way a man treats his friends says a lot about the way he’s going to treat you, so don’t let him get away with murder.
  3. The user. Whether he’s using you for sex, money, or a ride home, this guy has got to go. If all you’re doing is giving and getting nothing in return, then the relationship isn’t real. Bottom line is that he doesn’t care, so why should you? 
  4. The player. You know that guy that’s dated every girl you know? The one that says things so sweet they couldn’t possibly be true? Well, they’re not — he’s just playing you, and a player should be held responsible for his actions. Don’t be another girl that just lets him off the hook. Hold him accountable and then let him go. 
  5. The gossip. Some guys love to share everything with their bros, even the most private aspects of their relationships. Unless you enjoy the airing out of your dirty laundry, ditch him. You deserve a man that respects you by respecting the privacy of your relationship.
  6. The selfish. Relationships should be two-sided. Each party should be putting in an equal amount of work. If you’re constantly finding the time to be with your man and he’s spending all of his free time not with you, then he’s just not worth it.
  7. The lazy. No job? No thank you. Work ethic says a lot about a person’s character. As an independent woman, you can make your own cash, but you also want a man who brings something to the table. If he’s bumming off you, it’s not love you’ll find, only resentment.
  8. The addict. Whether the man is an alcoholic, druggie, or simply addicted to bad decisions, it’s going to be a rough road. It’s a great gesture to want to help someone, but you also need to think about how being in a relationship with someone like that affects you. Can you handle always being there for him and him never being there for you?
  9. The bad boy. You know that guy that’s all wrong, but you just have the need to try and change him? Well, don’t. Just give it up. It’s not worth the time, effort, or heartbreak. The bad boy syndrome is classic, but in the end, the good guy deserves your love.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.