I Love And Accept Myself — 14 Things Guys Hate About Me That I’m Not Going To Change

I know there are some things men don’t like about me — some have even told me so. But honestly, I’m confident about who I am and what I’m about, and I’m not going to change for anyone. If a guy doesn’t like these things about me, he can either deal with it or leave:

  1. I’m “too much.” Apparently, it’s not easy dating a woman who’s passionate and expresses herself. Why does this threaten guys? It’s like they’re afraid to deal with a woman who knows what she wants, speaks her mind, and feels things. Screw that. Maybe they’re the problem.
  2. I don’t play games. Guys haven’t told me that they don’t like my view that dating games suck, but I get the feeling I’ve chased some of them away when I didn’t play hard to get. But honestly, they did me a favor. Dating games are so childish.
  3. I call them out on stuff. If something’s on my mind, I’m going to speak about it with the guy I’m dating. If he doesn’t like this, then he’s clearly got something to hide. I refuse to be the quiet, obedient girlfriend who never confronts her boyfriend — that crap makes me mad.
  4. I love hair extensions. My hair is stubborn and doesn’t always absorb hair color dyes, which isn’t fun for me because I love trying new things with it on a regular basis. So I’m open to using hair extensions to get my color fix. The problem? Some guys are freaked out by them, especially if they’re made of real human hair. I don’t get what the big deal is. It’s just hair.
  5. I wear makeup. Guys always say that a woman should be natural, but I love cosmetics. I don’t leave the house looking like Lady Gaga, but I will wear a handful of products. It makes me feel confident, so I’m going to keep doing it.
  6. I talk about my friends. I know some guys hate it when women talk about the drama happening in their social circle, but I like chatting to my guy about this stuff. I mean, it’s part of life, and sometimes it’s really cool to get some outside views on what’s going on. It’s not like I’m talking about my girlfriends all the time.
  7. I ask questions. I’m the kind of girlfriend who asks questions about my boyfriend’s life because I’m interested in him. But some guys see this as a woman being too nosy. What’s the point of dating if we don’t open up to each other about stuff?
  8. I’m not an outdoor enthusiast. A lot of guys I’ve known have loved the outdoors. And no, not just having picnics, but climbing mountains and jumping off things. It’s just not me. I don’t want to get an adrenaline fix, so I’m going to sit that one out and not feel awkward about it. I know what I like and what I don’t, and I’m not going to change those things to impress people.
  9. I’m an ambivertI’m sometimes an extrovert who loves being social, and other times I’m a big introvert who just wants to stay in and devour the latest New York Times bestseller. It’s not easy for some guys to deal with this because it can be unpredictable. I want someone who accepts me for who I am and what I feel like doing in the moment instead of getting annoyed.
  10. I keep the bedroom off limits until I get to know someone. When I start dating a guy, it takes me a long time to have sex with him. I want to know what he’s about on an emotional and mental level before things become physical. Some guys bolt when they see that they’re not going to get some early on, but you know what? That’s their problem, not mine.
  11. I’m not very spontaneous. I know that being spontaneous can be exciting and fun, but it’s just not me. I plan ahead for outings. I don’t like leaving the house if I haven’t had a chance to change out of my tracksuit and style my hair. I also like knowing ahead of time when a guy wants to see me. Hey, I’ve got other things going on!
  12. I don’t drinkI’ve never been big on alcohol. I don’t like the taste, I don’t get the hype, and I definitely don’t need to be tipsy or drunk in order to sparkle on dates. But some guys immediately get defensive when they hear I don’t drink. They think I can’t handle my liquor or I’m a boring person. It’s so lame.
  13. My work life is unpredictable. As a writer, sometimes surprise deadlines fly onto my desk or I wake up in the middle of the night with a cool idea I simply have to get down on paper. Some guys just can’t deal with it. I once cancelled a date with a guy who asked me if I loved my work more than people. Talk about dramatic! I need someone who supports me instead of being so jealous or needy.
  14. I’m a vegetarian. Surprisingly, I’ve gone on many dates with guys who ended up arguing with me about why I don’t eat meat. It’s like they think I’m going to be throwing paint at them for digging into a steak, they’re so quick to defend their meat-eating lifestyle. I don’t know why I have to eat meat in order to be seen as dating potential, especially since I’m fine with people eating meat around me. Should dietary preferences really be such a deal-breaker? I don’t think so.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.