I Love Being Single, So A Guy Will Have To Be Pretty Amazing To Change That

I’ll be honest — relationships are fun and all, but I love being single. I’m always happiest when I don’t have a man in my life. There are elements of dating that I miss, of course, but I’d rather go without guys than give up the good thing I’ve got going. Here’s why a man is going to have to show some very real determination to get me to consider him:

  1. I’m finally content. I’m so happy right now. I’m settled but I’m not stagnant. My life is growing and developing in ways I never thought possible. I had no idea I could be this fulfilled — and it’s all without a man. I never felt this good when I had a boyfriend. If a guy wants to convince me that I can still be this joyful with him around, he’s going to have to sell me on it pretty hard.
  2. I have a routine. This isn’t to say that I do the same stuff all the time — far from it. I mean that within my home environment, I have certain rituals I try to perform daily. I only have the time to do these special little things because I’m single. If I had a man around getting in the way, I won’t have the space I need. A guy would have to show me that he wouldn’t interfere.
  3. I like everything I do. There’s not much in my life I’d be willing to cut out so that I could fit a partner in. That’s just the honest truth. I’m very busy and I love every minute of it. I’ve taken the time and care to build a life that I enjoy. Why would I give all that up for some random guy who happens to show up? He’d have to make a huge effort to prove to me that he’s worth my energy.
  4. I like my independence. I’ve gotten pretty used to doing what I want whenever I want, and I have to say it’s wonderful. I can go on a spontaneous trip if I feel like it without running it by anyone. I never have to check in. I never have to change my plans for someone else. I spend my money exactly how I want. A guy needs to be freaking amazing in order for me to give any of that up.
  5. I’m a fan of flexibility. When it’s just me, I don’t have to worry about what anyone else needs. Call it selfish, but I call it awesome. I can change what I’m doing last-minute without any issues. I don’t have to adhere to another person’s schedule. I just go with the flow and wander where life takes me. I’m not sure a man can convince me to do otherwise.
  6. I’m happy with myself. Relationships are difficult. I’m perfectly happy with who I am while I’m single, but dating screws up my self-esteem. I have definite issues that I’m still working through. For now, it’s better to stay alone than deal with the crap that comes with dating. I don’t know how to have a healthy relationship. Maybe someday a man will change that if he’s very patient.
  7. I’m selfish with my time. I enjoy my space. When you factor in all the stuff I do – work, writing, exercise, yoga, hobbies, social time with friends — I basically need all the remaining hours for my own personal peace of mind. I don’t like sacrificing my self-care just to have time to spend with a man.
  8. I don’t trust most men. I’ve found that most of the guys I encounter simply aren’t worth my time and energy, so I’m no longer willing to compromise the rest of my life to date them. I have goals and dreams and ambitions, and none of them involve convincing some man to be with me. I have no room for nonsense. If a man wants to be with me, he’ll have to slowly and patiently earn my trust.
  9. I don’t need companionship. Now that I’ve matured, I’m perfectly happy doing everything alone. In fact, I prefer it. I decide exactly what I want to do without worrying about anyone else. I choose my own adventures! I’m secure enough to venture out alone and I don’t need a man around. The guy who pursues me will have to prove he’d enhance my experiences.
  10. I value and enjoy alone time. I spend a good deal of my time alone and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I live by myself and I love it. I do almost everything alone. I have no desire to plug someone into my life who cramps my style. I need a great deal of independence and autonomy. A guy who wants me must accept that.
  11. I’m stubborn as all hell. I’m automatically skeptical of men and stuck in my single ways. Now that I’m happy with life, I don’t want to change it. It’ll be tough for a man to convince me that he’s worth the effort because most men have no staying power. They disappoint me. It’s happened too many times, so it’ll take a very special guy to get me to try again.
  12. I’m not very girly. I’ve never been someone who cared about weddings. I’ve never wanted kids. I’m not materialistic or superficial. I’m seeking substance and adventure in my life, and it doesn’t need to look traditional. I realized that I’m not a traditional person and I’ll never live a normal life. Any man who wants me will have to feel the same way.
  13. I don’t know what my future holds. I finally figured out that I have all the freedom and possibility in the world in front of me. I’m not willing to give that up as soon as I’ve found it. Many men have tried to tie me down, but there’s no containing me. I’m a wild woman with gypsy blood and an adventurous heart. The man who earns me will have to prove he can hang.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.