I Love My Boyfriend, But I Wish I Would Have Enjoyed Being Single More

Being single is one of those things you really don’t appreciate until things change. I’m happy being in a relationship, but at the same time, I can acknowledge that I didn’t live up my solo years as much as I should have. Here’s what I wish I would’ve done differently:

  1. I wish I’d gone out more. I did have many fun nights out when I was single, but looking back, there was also lots of fun I turned down. The reasons for that varied, from boredom to thinking that my social life would always be that interesting. I now wish I’d taken almost every opportunity to meet other people and have fun instead of staying home to watch TV. Believe me, there’s plenty of time later in life for this.
  2. I wish I’d lived a bit more and thought a little less. I spent a great deal of my single life feeling worried about virtually everything. I allowed things like a guy I just met not calling me back affect my mood and keep me from fully living in the moment. I now wish I’d let myself enjoy life instead of trying to figure out where things were going all the time.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to make the first move when I met someone I liked. I always expected Prince Charming to come to me, and even when I liked a guy, I never made the first step to approach him. I now wish I’d been the one to pick the guys I liked instead of wasting my time with guys that picked me. The idea that guys should always approach first kept me from getting what I really wanted.
  4. I wish I’d been more proud of my body. Even though those were the years when I looked my best, I always compared my physical appearance to impossible standards of beauty. I wish I’d been more happy in my own skin and realized that I don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful instead of obsessing over my flaws.
  5. I wish I’d appreciated my friends more. When you’re single, your friends are the most important part of your personal life. What I hadn’t realized back then was that all those girls’ nights out weren’t a compromise or a substitute for not having found a boyfriend, but an huge privilege. Having good and loyal friends is definitely one of life’s biggest blessings, and now I’m especially grateful that I had those people around me while I was single.
  6. I wish I’d been more open towards one-night-stands and casual sex. When I was single, I frequently passed up the opportunity for casual sex as it seemed “wrong” and not a great way to meet someone. But it really wasn’t such a big deal, and if there’s a right time to do it, it’s obviously when you’re single.
  7. I wish I’d shielded myself more against jerks. I spent years ignoring my gut feeling and going out on dates with guys that weren’t right for me just because I was convinced that giving opportunities was my obligation as a single woman. Looking back, I could’ve spared myself from lots of needless frustration if I’d just refused to date certain guys.
  8. I wish I’d been more assertive when I had to be. I spent so much time trying to be fair and nice to guys who didn’t deserve it that in the end, I was the only one who suffered the consequences. I now see that being a bitch to someone who behaves like a jerk doesn’t make me a bad person
  9. I wish I had given less of myself more. I wish I hadn’t given too much too quickly to people who didn’t deserve it. I’m an emotional person, and I always tried to be “good” in my personal relationships. But putting others first never worked and very few people acknowledged it. I should’ve been way more selfish during my time as a single woman.
  10. I wish I’d realized that being young and single is almost as good as winning the lottery. Because it really was. I had all the time and energy in the world to spend on myself or whoever else I wanted. I’m happy in my relationship, but if I were to be single again, I definitely would’ve taken advantage of all the freedom I had a bit more.
Chrisa is a freelance travel and lifestyle journalist who is obsessed with urban life, big cities, and untold stories.