I’d Love To Get Engaged But I’d Never Push For A Ring

Most of us in long-term, serious relationships want the ring to show off, to post on Instagram, to prove that we finally made it. It’s perfectly okay to want our future other-halves to throw a diamond on our fingers and call it day, but I’d never push for it it no matter how badly I want it—here’s why.

1. It would be too easy for him. I don’t ever want my other half thinking it’s easy to lock me down. He just puts a ring on my finger and that’s that, no hustle or bustle. I want him to work for it, to earn me, and to pop the question without any prompting for me because he’s ready to be a good husband. Making it too easy would take all the fun out of it!
2. There’s no excitement in pushing. Pushing for a ring is like taking all of the excitement out of the situation and tossing it out the window for the breeze to blow it away. I want to be able to live it out with my other half, always. I want him, and myself, to be excited and intrigued. He’ll be more into it without all the nagging and I’ll be happier knowing I didn’t push him into something he didn’t really want to do.
3. I want to be surprised. Let’s be real—we may all have a fantasy of what getting engaged will be like for us, but no one wants to know exactly when they’re getting engaged. What kind of surprise is that? I want to be blown away. Pushing for the ring will most likely lead to the who, what, when, where, and why of the situation. I’d end up knowing all the details before it happens, and that’s just plain old boring.
4. I want him to want it. My significant other should want to marry me, and that’s that. He should be the one who wants to put that ring on my finger to call me his forever, not just because I asked him to. If he isn’t doing it on his own, who knows if he even truly wants it or is ready for it? Why push for something when it’s that big of a deal?
5. We should both be ready. Just because I’m ready doesn’t mean that my other half is, and that’s okay. People aren’t always on the same page, and hey, he’s the one paying for the damn thing. I want him to feel fully ready and into the entire situation. If he isn’t, it’s only going to cause things to be more stressful.
6. It could ruin the future. Pushing will only place bad ideas into his head. He’s going to be nervous about the future or grow to dread it, which I never want. If he isn’t ready and I push him into it, the future is up in the air. Who knows how he’ll feel a year from the engagement if he only popped the question because I made him? I’d rather not even go there.
7. It’s unfair to both of us. The key to good relationships is trust and fairness. Putting my other half into an unfair situation is going to cause problems on both ends. Relationships progress at different stages and it’s not like I’m desperate to say “I do” now.
8. It’s selfish. No guy wants to marry someone who’s being bitchy and selfish, plain and simple. Pushing is considered bitchy to a guy; they don’t find it attractive at all. He isn’t going to want to keep me forever with that attitude! Letting him take his time will show him that I care about his feelings too. Sure, if we’d been together for years and he kept stalling on commitment, I’d have to reevaluate our relationship, but it’s really not that serious yet.
9. It will mess with MY head. I want to go into my wedding day on a completely positive note. I don’t want any questions, insecurities, or concerns. Pushing him into it will get into my head, making myself wonder if he actually even wanted to do it in the first place. I don’t want to be the runaway bride due to anxiety after forcing him into the situation—that would be pretty terrible.
10. Taking our time is a good thing. As much as all of the sayings and quotes about time suck—”Time heals all wounds,” etc.—they tend to be true. Time is a good thing, and maybe just relaxing and letting things go will prove this to both of us. Time gives us the ability to think about our future and plan the life we want to build together. What’s better than that?
11. It will be good for me to wait. As hard as it is, and as much as I want to push and nag the crap out of him, waiting may be good for me. It could teach me how to relax and unwind and let things go. Going with the flow is a good lesson for us ladies who want what we want, when we want it. I can certainly use help in that department.