How To Love The Guy Who’s Not In Touch With His Emotions

When you thrive on emotional intimacy and end up falling for someone with a colder vibe, it can be hard to navigate the relationship. He says he loves you but you rarely see it in action, and he keeps everything bottled up all the time. Loving a guy who’s not in touch with his emotions is tough, but not impossible.

  1. Try not to take it personally.Realize that he’s not closed off to just you, it’s just how he is. If he’s with you than whether he’s voicing it or not, it’s probably because he wants to be. He cares, he just doesn’t know how to express it.
  2. Encourage him to open up.Let him know that you’re an ear he can always vent to, and eventually he’ll start to let you in on things that are going on in his mind. It may not be anything deep or philosophical, but reinforce even the smallest of positive steps forward.
  3. Provide a judgment-free safe space. When he does finally open up about something, understand that it was very hard for him to do. Make sure that you aren’t judging him when he does, no matter how he feels, and take everything at face value.
  4. Love him anyway.If you want him to know that he can rely on you for emotional support, you have to love him for all that he is and what he isn’t. He shouldn’t feel that your love is conditional on whether or not he spills his guts every day.
  5. Don’t push him.If you push him to open up, he’s going to withdraw even further. Patiently wait for him to come to you for emotional support and you’ll be glad you did.
  6. Understand that he may never change.You love your boyfriend, so it’s important to know that he may never change, and that’s OK. You can still appreciate him for who he really is. If you find that you truly can’t, you should reevaluate if it’s the right relationship for you.
  7. Appreciate his past.There are reasons he is the way he is, and when you do end up finding out why, know that it’s what made him the man you love today.
  8. Open up to him.If he feels as though you’re letting him in on your own thoughts and feelings regularly, it may just give him to push he needs to do the same for you.
  9. Recognize his love style and embrace it. You two may have different love styles, but that doesn’t mean that his is wrong and yours is right. Embrace the way he likes to love and he’ll eventually do the same for you.
  10. Just be there for him.If he’s going through something that he doesn’t want to talk about, just be there. Hold his hand while he watches TV or make him his favorite dinner. You can help him get through things without him having to ask you.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.