I Love You, But I’m Tired Of Giving So Much More Than I Get

All relationships require work, but sometimes I wonder why I’m the only one who seems to realize that. I love my boyfriend and I don’t want to leave him, but I’m exhausted and at my wit’s end. I can’t keep carrying the weight of our entire relationship. He’s going to have to start pitching in or we’re not going to last because being an overgiver is making me miserable.

  1. He uses my love to his advantage. I shouldn’t need to say this, but here goes: I love him so freakin’ much. I always have. From the moment I met him, I knew I wanted to be with him. Unfortunately, he’s completely aware of my feelings for him, and while he should return those feelings in full, I feel like he uses them to manipulate and take advantage of me.
  2. He takes me for granted. It’s almost like since he knows that I love him, he (naively) thinks that’ll never change and that he can do or say whatever he wants and I’ll still be there. I’m not a fool, though. I loved the version of him I met three years ago, but he’s become someone completely different. Soon, enough is going to be enough, and I’ll walk away.
  3. I always drop plans to hang out with him. Whenever he needs me, I’m there. Period. There’s no screwing around here. He’s my priority. He’s always the person I’d rather be with. But he needs to watch out because that could so easily change.
  4. He always acts like he’s “too busy” to make time for me. Okay, either he’s the busiest guy on the planet or I’m losing my damn mind over here. Why does he never have any free time? He used to have all the time in the world for me, but now he’s always busy AF. It’s not about ‘growing apart’ — it’s about him being a thoughtless jerk. He needs to cut it out before I cut him out of my life.
  5. When he’s feeling down, I’ve got his back. I’ve always been there for him. I know that we all go through crap in life, so when he’s feeling a little low, I’ve got his back. I’ll listen to his problems and give him advice. All I ask is for the same level of support in return.
  6. He’s never willing to help me through my problems. Is he scared of people having actual emotions? When I have a problem, he hits the road faster than I can say “Hey, wait!” It’s not fair that he’s never there for me when I need it the most. When things start to get real, I feel more alone than ever. I need a guy who’s there for the good times and the bad, and he’s not acting like him these days.
  7. He’s changed. He hasn’t always been this careless, lazy guy. I should know — I wouldn’t have given him the time of day otherwise. I remember a time when he tried so hard to be a good boyfriend and do what was right. Either that was a BS act, or he’s slowly morphing into a guy I just don’t want to know. And, frankly, I don’t like either of those answers.
  8. My love isn’t unconditional. Who does he think he’s screwing with here? I’m not the kind of lady who will sit back and be treated this way. I have self-respect, and I’m not about to take his crap much longer. Yes, I love him — I’ll admit that much. But my love isn’t unconditional, and it’s wearing thin right now.
  9. I’m giving him a chance here. Relationships aren’t easy. When one person stops putting any effort into them, they wilt and die a miserable death. He’s the person screwing this up, not me. So, here’s his chance. He needs to change and be the guy I fell head over heels in soppy love with… or I’m out.
  10. If this is who he is, then he needs to just leave. If the old him is long-dead in the water, he should have the courtesy to let me know. I don’t like this new version of him. He’s a user who’s only in this for what he can get. It’s gross. If he’s honestly committed to having a one-sided relationship, he can have it… but it’ll be with himself.
Charlotte is a freelance writer who's addicted to binge-watching TV, drinking far too much coffee, and writing articles.