I Love Being with You, Just Not All the Time

You’re the love of my life and I cherish our time together, but that doesn’t mean we need to spend every waking moment being attached at the hip. In fact, I insist we spend some time apart. I really do love being with you, just not every second of every day. Here’s why:

  1. I have other crap to do. That’s not a bad thing, it’s a good one. I don’t want to take a break or go days on end without contact with you, I just don’t want to spend all our time together. That doesn’t mean we’re not a couple or that there are any issues in our relationship — it just means we don’t have to spend every second of every day gazing into each other’s eyes and can do our own thing sometimes too.
  2. I’m an independent person. I always have been. Even as a little girl, I’d spend hours alone playing in my room rather than hunting down the neighbor kids. Sure, I like my social time, but I don’t constantly need to be with other people. I do just fine on my own. Better than fine, actually — I thrive on my independence, and just because I’m no longer single doesn’t mean that’s going to change.
  3. Sometimes I just don’t feel like talking or being around anyone. Is that so much to ask? We all need time to decompress from our hectic lives. I want time to read in complete silence or even just reflect on my thoughts. Not everything has to be a group activity. Some tasks are better off accomplished solo. I’m not a lone wolf, but I still deserve my moments alone.
  4. We won’t always want to do the same things. Every once in a while, we’ll be interested in different television shows, activities and even different people. Just because you don’t like one of my friends or hobbies doesn’t mean I’m going to give it up. It’s just something we won’t do together, and that’s okay. We’re still right for each other were just not the exact same person, and good thing because that would be boring AF.
  5. I’ll always make time for my girls. My girlfriends have always been there for me, so I’ll always be there for them. Guys have come and gone in my life, but my friends have always stuck by my side. I don’t know what will happen with you and me, but I do know that even if you’re “The One,” you can’t come between my girls and me.
  6. I’m the opposite of clingy. In fact, I firmly believe every relationship needs room to breathe. I’m going to give you your space to have a life outside of our relationship, and I expect the same courtesy from you. We don’t need to be all over each other all the time. A minute apart isn’t a minute wasted. Our relationship is stronger than that or at least it should be.
  7. We need a chance to miss each other. If we’re always together, how are we supposed to feel the pain of being apart? I want to be able to ache for our time together. If we don’t know what we’re missing when we’re not together then we won’t be able to appreciate the time we do have. I want my space, but I’ll always miss you when you’re gone — that you can be sure of.
  8. I don’t want you to get sick of me. That’s not a lack of confidence. I’m not swimming in self-doubt, I’m being realistic. The fact is if two people spend too much time together, they’re bound to get a little annoyed with each other. We both need to spend time without each other. That’s the only way we’ll keep our sanity.
  9. We’ll still spend plenty of time together. Just because we’re not spending every minute of the day together doesn’t mean we’ll never see each other. In fact, as our relationship grows, we’ll probably only spend more time together as we take each step in our relationship. I’m just saying that no matter where this relationship goes, I need time for the rest of my life too. Don’t worry, I’m not getting rid of you.
  10. Our relationship shouldn’t be our whole life. We can’t just have each other. We need lives outside of our relationship. We both need friends, family, careers and even hobbies. Our relationship is a huge priority in my life, but it’s not my only priority and if we want a fighting chance, it never will be.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.