What Love is Like When You’re A Girl Who Feels Too Much

When your heart seems like it’s five sizes too big for your body, love gets harder and even more complicated than usual. Here’s what it’s like when you’re a woman who feels too much:

  1. You don’t really do casual sex. Sex is more than something fun to do for you — it’s an act of love. For this reason, you can’t really get into the whole “casual sex” scene that’s going on right now. You need time to warm up to someone and once you trust them, you’re totally open to ALL of the sex. Before that, though, you need a real connection.
  2. You guard your heart like crazy until a guy proves he can be trusted with it. As someone with a delicate heart, you tend to be closed off at the start of relationships. Just because you feel love for people in an incredibly deep way doesn’t mean you wear your heart on your sleeve. You don’t want to love anyone until you can be sure they won’t take advantage of your feelings.
  3. When you love someone, you love them 100%. Once you trust someone, it’s all systems go. Love isn’t just something you sometimes feel when you remember to. When you’re in love, you’re in love. It takes over your entire mind, body and spirit. You really mean it when you say you love someone, and you always make sure they know it.
  4. You get hurt way too easily. When you’re the type of person who goes all the way with love, you’re bound to get hurt. You can’t just brush things off easily; you really take them to heart. If something isn’t right in your relationship, it affects you on every level. You know you need to toughen up and develop a thicker skin, but that’s easier said than done.
  5. You’re always the first one to say “I love you.” When you look back on your past relationships, in most cases, you were the one who said those three little words first — not because you thought you should but because you truly felt it. In fact, you felt it so strongly that you probably blurted it out without even thinking. This is a true sign of a girl who feels too much.
  6. You need to be with someone who has empathy and patience. When it comes to being with someone long-term, you need a partner with a high level of emotional intelligence — otherwise, they might just peg you as a drama queen or looking for attention without truly understanding where you’re coming from. Without that level of empathy and unconditional acceptance, it’ll never last.
  7. A seemingly small thing can be a huge deal to you. Your partner forgot to call you when he finished work or had to cancel plans because he has to stay late at work. To most people, it would be no big deal, but to you? It cuts deep. When you’re invested in a relationship, these little things can make you crazy. You know you need to chill out, but it’s just not that simple.
  8. You get dumped a lot. You give your all in relationships and sometimes it’s too much too soon. Things only seem to work out long-term when you’re with someone who feels just as much as you do. You need a mutual understanding that love is a big deal and that you have to respect what the other is putting into the partnership. Sometimes, however, it goes unappreciated by guys who just want something “casual.” Ugh.
  9. Your relationships tend to be filled with drama. Your love life is no different than your actual life — filled to the brim with grade-A drama. You’re not an actual drama queen — you don’t want the attention or to create trouble where there is none — your emotions just fly high, and that can only result in a few fights and misunderstandings here and there.
  10. You’re single most of the time. You’re 100% authentic and aren’t willing to pretend to be anyone other than who you are to make a relationship work. This results in you being single more often than not. A relationship means more to you than just someone cool to hang out with — it’s all about forming a real and long-lasting connection and you’ve got plenty of love to give.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.