You Love Him, He Loves Her — How To Deal When He’ll Never Be Yours

You Love Him, He Loves Her — How To Deal When He’ll Never Be Yours ©iStock/Mikolette

Whether you’re falling for the wrong guy or the right guy at the wrong time, you can probably agree with one thing: unrequited love is a bitch. Catching feelings for someone who may (or will) never return them is crappy, but it doesn’t have to destroy you. Here’s how to cope and move on to someone who can reciprocate your awesomeness if he can’t:

  1. Just tell him. Before your crush starts talking to another girl, just tell him you like him. You’re an adult — it won’t kill you. Best case scenario, you end up dating, falling in love, getting married and dying together. Worst case, you flatter him, he gently rejects you and you move on with your life. Regardless, telling him won’t kill you and will likely save you a lot of stress while the crush runs its course.
  2. Do NOT stalk his Instagram. Nothing hurts worse than seeing the guy you’re infatuated with being all lovey-dovey with his girlfriend. Don’t stalk his Instagram. Don’t creep on her Facebook. You’re only setting yourself up to be heartbroken. Unfollow and block him if you have to.
  3. Don’t trash his girlfriend. Chances are, his girlfriend doesn’t even know you like him. Don’t talk crap about her on the internet or try to fight her. And whatever you do, don’t call her a slut or a whore. Slut-shaming isn’t cool. Remember, she isn’t technically doing anything wrong.
  4. Try to offset the attraction. It’s petty as hell, but once your chances with someone are gone, it helps to try to find something to nitpick. Sure, he’s funny and cute and everything you’ve ever dreamed of, but he has a weird laugh and bushy eyebrows. Those could be total dealbreakers.
  5. Try to salvage the friendship. If you caught feelings after being friends for a long time, don’t let the unrequited crush ruin the foundation you’ve built up. In a few weeks, months or even years, he might develop feelings for you and reignite your spark for him. It could just be the timing.
  6. Or break all ties. You might have it really bad for a guy you barely know or a newer friend. In a perfect world, you could both co-exist knowing you loved him, but sometimes it is too much. Don’t be afraid to stop talking to a guy all together if you know your relationship with him is going absolutely nowhere. Save yourself the heartache.
  7. Spend some time on yourself. When you realize you have a full-fledged crush on someone who doesn’t know you exist, you sometimes have to take a step back and spend some time on yourself. Take a trip to your favorite store, watch your favorite movie, try to distract yourself from the soul-crushing disappointment.
  8. Grin and bear it, baby. Sometimes the only thing you can do is let it run it’s course. You’re not going to change your life over someone who doesn’t think you’re cute. No matter how caught up you get on someone, you have to just keep pushing forward and try to sweat it out.