I’d Love To Meet “The One” But I’m Not Putting My Life On Hold For Them

I’m a sucker for love and the idea of finding “The One.” Even though I believe I will one day, that doesn’t mean I’m stopping my life to sit around and wait for them to turn up. Instead, I actually try to live my life fully. I have hobbies, go to school, work, hang with friends, and keep my mind open for love.

  1. Who knows if “the one” really exists? Maybe there isn’t such a thing as “the one.” Maybe I’ll have lots of loves and some (or one) will stick. Perhaps, I just don’t know. The idea of “The One” true love can keep many people tied down as they wait for this special person to come into their lives. It can make people put things on hold because they’re waiting. I don’t even know if this person is really out there, so why wait around?
  2. I’m still holding out some hope that I’ll find love. Don’t get me wrong, just because I don’t know if “The One” truly exists or not doesn’t mean I’m not hoping for them. A big part of me hopes that they do exist and that they’re coming at some point. I can hold out hope and be realistic at the same time. I’m not letting this longing totally derail me, I’m just having a little healthy optimism.
  3. In the meantime, I’m living my life. Instead of waiting around for someone to come along, I have a full and lovely life. I’m sure to enjoy it because there’s no sense in putting things on hold to wait for something that may never come. Instead, I’m doing things that make me happy. I’m seizing the day because today is really the only day I ever have.
  4. I have hobbies. I have lots of hobbies and they’re so important, especially if I start to date someone—it’s crucial to keep being me. Even still, when I’m single, I like to be well-rounded. I do artistic things like write and I do fun athletic things like play recreational street hockey. These hobbies help shape who I am and bring joy into my life.
  5. I spend time with friends and family. In living my life, it’s so important for me to spend time with those I love. I find that when I’m single and not waiting around for anyone, I have more time to do this. I see my loved ones more often. I have dates with my friends and dinner with my siblings. If I was constantly searching for “The One,” I may miss out on all of this quality time.
  6. I go to school and work. I’m pursuing my passions. I’m working a full-time job and going to grad school on a subject matter that I love. Maybe if I was waiting around for a lover to come, I wouldn’t be so passionately pursuing my dreams. Because I’m not sitting around, though, I’m doing amazing things! I’m not stopping for anything or anyone.
  7. I’m working on myself. Perhaps most importantly, I’m truly putting in the effort to be the best person I can be. I go to therapy and to two 12-step groups, I practice Buddhism, and I just generally am committed to growth as a person. I’m mostly doing this for me, but a small part of me is thinking of if I ever am with someone who sticks, the work will be for them too.
  8. I’m not actively pursuing dating. This won’t always be true, but at the moment I’m taking a break from dating. I’ve put it on the back burner. I just have a lot to focus on in my life and I don’t want to use the energy up on pursuing people right now. I mean, dating is exhausting. Using dating apps takes so much time. I will eventually pursue it again, but for now, I’m enjoying my free time and energy.
  9. I try to keep space open for love. Even though I’m not actively pursuing it, I still have some space open in my life for if love were to come along. Maybe I’ll meet someone cool when I least expect it, that’s what they say happens, right? There’s no harm in just having the door open ever so slightly to possibilities.
  10. I try to accept that single may be my reality. Even though I’m hopeful and leaving space, I also have to breathe into the idea that I could be single for a while. Even without thinking past today, single is my reality at the moment. It just is what it is. When I get too upset about it, I drive myself crazy. It may be my truth for a long time, it may not be. For today, this is how it is.
Ginelle has been writing professionally for more than six years and has a bachelor’s degree in digital marketing & design. Her writing has appeared on Birdie, Thought Catalog, Tiny Buddha and more. You can follow her on Instagram @ginelletesta, via her Facebook page, or through her website at ginelletesta.com.