Sometimes a girl just needs to get laid, but when it comes with douchey guys, unreliable apps, and booty calls in the wee hours of the morning, I’d almost rather stay celibate. Okay, not really, but having to deal with these obnoxious things as a woman who’s regularly horny is a pain in the ass:
- Needy guys I wanna get laid, not have a full-fledged relationship. If I’m using you for sex, chances are I don’t see you as relationship material. Some guys see our purely physical relationship as a potentially romantic one, and it really kills the vibe. I don’t want to have brunch with you this weekend — I want to have sex with you. Now.
- Feeling needy myself I’m constantly on the hunt for eligible dudes I may want to sleep with, which can make me come off as a little needy. The problem is, when I meet a guy I’m super attracted to, I totally lose all of my chill. I get so awkward — it’s actually the worst. I try to calm myself down, but when there’s a beautiful guy in front of me, all bets are off.
- Awkward first dates I honestly wish we didn’t even have to go through the awkwardness that is the first date. I would way rather cut straight to the sex. That’s when you really bond and let down your guard. It’s actually a miracle that anyone wants to have sex after two hours of uptight conversation. Thankfully, wine helps a bit with this.
- Guys who think they own me I hate how vulnerable I get when I’m having sex. It takes a lot for me to open up and let someone in, and it just really sucks when the guy I’m with doesn’t end up respecting me. Just because we’re having sex with each other doesn’t mean they can push me around or tell me what to do.
- Late-night booty calls Booty calls are great, but why must they happen at two in the morning? I understand that the best sex usually happens in the dead of night, but I’m the kind of person who needs eight hours of sleep minimum, otherwise I’m just not on my game the next day. Why can’t 9pm booty calls be a thing? Sleep is basically my lifeline.
- Feeling Used Sure, the sex might be great in the moment, but I swear the second I shut the door behind me, I feel a little used. He didn’t even do anything wrong! He respected me, kissed me goodbye, complimented me, did everything right… but that doesn’t take away that inevitable feeling of just being an “object” for him to play with (although that can be thrilling for some…).
- Low Standards This is when I get really desperate and go home with the first guy who comes up to me at the bar. I’m craving sex, and I’m willing to have it with ANYONE at this point. Unfortunately, that could mean having sex in some weirdo’s basement apartment that smells like pickled onions. Get me out.
- Rejection I’ve been rejected once, and it has stayed with me forever. Guys have to face rejection all the time as the gender who classically approaches for sex. It almost seems like it’s built into their psyche to be able to handle it. They laugh it off with their buddies and congratulate themselves for even trying. When a woman like me gets rejected, it completely wrecks my self-esteem. I don’t even bother approaching anymore. Way too traumatic.
- Using dating apps. When I use apps like Tinder, OkCupid, and Coffee Meets Bagel, I feel like I’m just straight-up wasting my time. Sure, I can go on dates with ALL of these guys, but only one in twenty of them will be good in bed. I really don’t like those odds.
- Feeling like the promiscuous one in my friend group.I’ve got plenty of sexy tales to share when the girlfriends get together, and I’m actually excited to talk about my sexcapades. However, I can tell that some of my friends are judging me for being promiscuous, and it totally doesn’t feel good. I’m safe about it, I respect myself, and all that stuff… I just really enjoy sex.