Love Shouldn’t Be THAT Hard To Find, But It Is When You’re A Strong Woman

Strong, independent women wouldn’t have it any other way, but that doesn’t mean things are always easy for us — especially not in dating. We know what we want, we’re comfortable in our own skin, and we don’t want to live in somebody’s pocket. Not only that, but we don’t have time for mind games and our emotional intelligence stops our hearts from getting involved too soon. These are great qualities to have, but can often make us seem intimidating to men and make it way harder for us to find love.

  1. We have really high expectations and we won’t lower them for anyone. We’d much rather be alone than with the wrong person. For the most part, we have a pretty clear picture in our heads of the type of guy we’re looking for, and since we’re not down for settling in life or love, we’ll stay single until we find the right relationship. We know our worth and we’re not prepared to compromise just for the sake of having a boyfriend.
  2. Our strength can be scary AF to weak guys. We may not have been born with the mental strength that we now possess, but as we’ve navigated our complex and occasionally trying lives, we’re full-on warriors at this point. This kind of strength is rare, and most people can’t understand something they don’t know. Many guys just aren’t equipped to handle us, which means hoping to come across one who not only can, but who appreciates our strength as well.
  3. We need a lot of alone time. We tend to find ourselves single more often than many of our friends, which means we spend plenty of time on our own (and we like it that way). We use that time to get to know who we are and to enjoy our own company. Sometimes we even prefer doing stuff on our own instead of with other people. Any guy we’re with will have to accept our need for alone time.
  4. We give off the impression we don’t need anyone. Of course, this is far from the truth because we all need somebody to lean on, no matter how much we enjoy being on our own. Still, because we’re so self-sufficient, it tends to make guys think we’re uninterested in dating. Just because we’re incredibly independent and manage to exist happily on our own doesn’t mean that we don’t crave companionship and support just like anyone else.
  5. We question everything incessantly. Does true love exist? Is there really a ‘One’? We strong and independent women are all too aware that relationships often end, and statistics don’t help matters by telling us that half of marriages now end in divorce. We’re guilty of over-thinking everything, especially when it comes to dating. We’re so careful with our hearts that sometimes we end things before they’ve even had a chance to begin.
  6. We have wonderful lives outside of our relationships. We’re the kind of women who will happily take ourselves on a fabulous dinner date for one, see that movie on our own or take that solo yoga trip we’ve always wanted to go on. We’ve never felt as though we’re incomplete when we’re single. We realize that no one is meant to complete us — partners are merely meant to add extra colors to an already beautiful piece of art. This means that sometimes, we just don’t see a need for messing with the beautiful lives we’re already leading.
  7. We need an equally strong significant other. The only kind of guy who’ll really be able to handle a strong, independent woman is an equally strong and independent man — and like I said before, those are pretty hard to come by. We know they’re out there somewhere, though, so we try to remember that it’ll happen when it happens and whoever we end up with will be worht waiting for.
  8. We can seem unapproachable. Sometimes our no-nonsense attitudes make us seem unavailable, uninterested, or plain old unimpressed. That’s often just our quiet confidence beaming through or our total lack of awareness that someone is actually flirting with us. Often, we’re lost in our own deep thoughts or wrapped up in the company of our friends. A lot of men won’t approach women who aren’t giving out obvious signals that they want to be approached, regardless of how attractive they may be. It sucks, but we don’t know how to be anyone but ourselves (and we wouldn’t want to be, anyway).
  9. We take our time opening up to a new guy. We’re often guarded, but only because we’re smart enough to know that not everybody has our best interests at heart — and we can’t trust someone we barely know. We need time to relax and feel comfortable with new people. We won’t put our hearts on the line for just anyone, and not everyone will be prepared to stick around and play the long game, but you know what? We’re totally worth the wait.
Shani is a full time writer and GLOW-GETTER currently based wherever she can find a bit of peace and harmony.. Her work has found itself a home on many platforms including The Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Unwritten, Style Honey, CT Magazine, and All Women Stalk. She's also the author of several books, which can be purchased on Amazon.

Shani is the founder of the #GLOWGETTERTRIBE - check it out and join on her website.

You can also follow her on Instagram @shanijaywriter.