Love In A Time Of Apathy—The Struggle Of Modern Dating

I don’t think dating has ever been great, but I feel like it’s particularly rough these days. If you’re actually invested in the idea of finding a long-term partner, you’re in for a rude awakening because it’s pretty difficult to make a connection when people aren’t trying all that hard.

  1. No one wants to put in work. In a world full of instant gratification, the process of getting to know another person seems to be too tedious and time-consuming for a lot of people. Each generation is more impatient and apathetic than the last, and all the conveniences at our fingertips may be to blame.
  2. No one wants to commitThere are a million options, all easily accessible on dozens of apps with the swipe of a finger. Why settle on just one person? There are too many choices and they’re too convenient. If you’re someone who actually wants something stable, the lack of interest in monogamy will make you nuts.
  3. No one gets why their quick fixes aren’t fulfilling. It’s like eating too much sugar—it tastes good at the time, but you end up feeling sort of sad and sick afterward. Everyone wants to “casually date.” but no one seems to be having that much fun. Maybe if people slowed down a bit, they’d realize this isn’t working. You actually have to put in effort to get a satisfying result.
  4. No one values the proper qualities in a partner. There’s all this fascination with the idea of who someone is rather than the reality, and the proliferation of social media and app profiles don’t help. This leads to a shallow perspective and preoccupation with physical attraction and chemistry rather than looking at who someone is inside.
  5. No one feels any urgency to be with one person. If you demand commitment from someone, you aren’t cool, so those who want it are afraid to even ask for it. They’re afraid they’ll lose the little bit they do have if they put any conditions on the situation. In a world where the term “almost relationship” is a thing, it’s no wonder romance is dying.
  6. No one wants to compromise. If someone isn’t used to compromising, why would they suddenly want to start doing so with a partner? They want what they want when they want it. Relationships are almost impossible without compromise, so dating dies off before it even has a chance to begin.
  7. No one understands how to properly date. It’s like dating is a lost art. People either “hang out” in a group setting, just start hooking up right away, or both. It’s almost unheard of for someone to ask you out on a proper date anymore. Social graces have been completely forgotten and no one can even hold a one-on-one conversation!
  8. No one communicates well. Face-to-face communication skills have degraded to an embarrassing level now that everyone talks over text. People have their faces constantly buried in their smartphones—no wonder they can hardly make it through a sitting trying to get to know someone new.
  9. No one is in any rush to settle down. The only time that there’s a sense of urgency is when people want to start a family. Then they generally try and find someone else who wants that same thing and they get to it. Those who don’t want kids or don’t want them right away feel no need to get serious.
  10. No one connects in person anymore. It’s so tough to get people to sit down and talk earnestly in the moment without getting distracted or checking their phones. If someone meets you for a date and the two of you actually have an authentic connection, it’s like a miracle happened. It’s ridiculous but it’s true.
  11. Everyone stops trying after a couple of weeks. Once the shiny new quality of dating a new person wears off, everyone gets bored these days. There’s no staying power. It’s just wham, bam, on to the next prospect. It’s extremely depressing and confusing if you’re one of those rare unicorns actually looking for a long-term romantic partnership.
  12. No one values the complexity of a real relationship. There’s much to be said about a real, deep, honest adult partnership. It takes a lot of work, but it also adds value to your life. It’s not something to be treated as disposable, yet many people don’t even want to bother trying at one. There’s an obscene lack of effort and maturity in modern dating.
  13. No one is willing to do what it takes. Yeah, it’s true, relationships are work. Anything in life worth having takes some perseverance and commitment. There are tough times and there are struggles, but that doesn’t mean that you up and quit. Unfortunately, in today’s dating world, most people don’t even begin. They don’t want to go through the crap so they do nothing at all.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at