How To Love A Woman With Trust Issues

How To Love A Woman With Trust Issues ©iStock/AmmentorpDK

Some women want to love, but we have trouble opening ourselves up because we’ve been screwed over so many times. We don’t want it to happen again, which is why relationships can be hard for us. That doesn’t mean we can’t have happy, fulfilling relationships — there are just certain things we need to feel like it’s truly safe to go all-in.

  1. Let us know we’re loved. Don’t wait until it’s convenient to say those three little words. Yell it to us when we’re in the shower, whisper it to us while we sleep, and mention it to us while we’re in public. Keep saying the words until we know how much you mean them.
  2. Never, ever lie to us. I don’t care if you think the food we cooked is gross and you want to spare our feelings. Don’t tell us it’s the best thing you’ve ever eaten. Give us your complete and utter honesty, no matter how hard it is for you.
  3. Stop acting like you’re single. Don’t look for a booty call when we’re out of town. Don’t check your Tinder after a silly little fight with us. If you’re serious about us, then you should treat us the way we deserve to be treated, even when you’re pissed at us.
  4. Let us into your life. Tell us where you’re going with your friends, even if we don’t ask. Let us know the names of your exes, even if it seems like we don’t care. Make it clear that you’re willing to tell us anything and everything if it’ll make us more comfortable.
  5. Don’t take little things to heart. If we give you a nasty look when you get a text from a female coworker, don’t be too hard on us. We’re not accusing you of cheating, we’re just keeping an eye on you so we don’t get screwed over again, and we hope you understand that.
  6. Never play mind games with us. We won’t like you more if you flirt with a friend in front of us. In fact, it’s going to push us away. If we think there are other women in your life, we won’t be interested.
  7. Be willing to talk through our problems. If it looks like we’re upset, don’t let us mope around without telling you what’s wrong. Figure out what’s been bothering us, so you can put our mind at ease. Little things can turn into big things if we don’t face it head on.
  8. Don’t give us false hope. If you say you’re going to call us but you don’t, that’s a lie. You might not see it that way, but we do, so make sure you mean what you say and say what you mean.
  9. Take things slow. We probably won’t want to move in together, or even have sex, right away. We’ll want to figure out whether or not we can trust you before we move forward with you. We’ve been hurt too many times before to let it happen again.
  10. Remember that we like you, too. You might question how we feel about you, since we can act distant at times. But we’re just being extra cautious. We like you a lot, we just don’t want to end up getting heartbroken if you turn out to be just like the rest of them.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.