Loved Cocaine Bear? You’re Gonna Lose It Over Crackcoon

Loved Cocaine Bear? You’re Gonna Lose It Over Crackcoon Universal Pictures | Fuzzy Monkey Films

It seems like only yesterday that “Cocaine Bear,” the (vaguely) true story of a bear that ripped through 70 pounds of narcotics and went on a violent killing spree, came into our cinematic lives. Fans went wild for the absolutely bonkers setup AND execution, but now there’s a new homicidal, drugged-up animal on the loose. May I present to you “Crackcoon”?

You can probably guess from that title what this movie is going to be about, but indulge me a bit here. “Crackcoon” was directed by Brad Twigg and distributed by Fuzzy Monkey Films. It’s all about a town living in terror after they find out a flesh-eating raccoon is on the loose.

Per the delicious official synopsis: “When a synthetically-altered street drug is discarded in the woods by a drug dealer during a car chase with police, the fallout proves nothing less than horrific when an innocent raccoon eats it, transforming it into a nightmarish killing machine straight from the bowels of hell. With unsuspecting campers, tourists, and residents of a mountain community all in close proximity to the epicenter, no one is safe from the monster’s unrelenting rampage.”

It doesn’t get better than this, people. What’s unclear here is how much of this altered drug the raccoon eats, because that’s a long-ass high. Nevertheless, the concept is hilarious and ridiculous enough to be a total must-watch.

As it turns out, “Cocaine Bear” fans agree. Many of them took to social media to express their excitement at the existence of “Crackcoon.”

“They really made a CCU (Cocaine Cinematic Universe),” one person tweeted. Another joked: “Can’t wait for ‘cocaine bear vs crackcoon: dealers’ choice’ to come out.”

Sadly, “Crackcoon” isn’t available to watch just yet. However, it’s due for release worldwide later this year. I don’t know about you, but this is one movie I’m looking forward to (laughing at hysterically).

Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill