He Made A Great First Impression But A Lousy Boyfriend

I’ve always thought that first impressions are super important and I rejected many guys who just didn’t come across as amazing boyfriend material from the start. Sometimes I was way too fussy for my own good, rejecting guys for trivial things. Then I met a guy who flipped my script: he seemed perfect but he made me realize that’s actually the last thing I want in a partner.

  1. He seemed like my perfect match. I met him online and we chatted for a week before meeting for drinks. From the moment he walked into the bar, he seemed like such a catch. He was attractive, chivalrous, and really funny. I laughed so much during that date, I thought I’d need Botox. We had a great time and I went home on a natural high, feeling like we were onto a great thing.
  2. The second date was a letdown. On the second date, the guy still seemed cool, but it wasn’t normal for me to be laughing this much. Then I realized what was happening—he was a total joke, leaping through hoops to find the punchlines that would make me laugh. I tried to steer the conversation onto serious topics while we ate dinner together but he kept turning into a clown. Ugh. What was going on?
  3. He was feeling the pressure. He was clearly trying too hard to be the perfect guy. When we’d been chatting online, I’d mentioned that I liked a guy who could make me laugh and clearly he’d taken that and run with it! I felt like I wasn’t even dating the guy, I was dating the funny guy he wanted me to think he was.
  4. Should I stay or go? I was put off, but I thought maybe in time he’d actually let his guard down and be real, so we went on another date. This one wasn’t drinks or a meal because I thought we needed to be in a more relaxed environment. So we went on a picnic, where we could chill out together.
  5. The best-laid plans often go awry… I went into the date feeling positive and trying to be real so that he could also drop his clownish act, but he never gave me insight into who he really was. He was bragging about his work and talking about his amazing holidays/friends/family. When he talked about how damn happy he is about his life all the damn time, I knew the date was over and I’d never see this guy again.
  6. I ruined his perfect day. After the date, he texted me to say how amazing our time together had been. Ugh. I had to tell him the truth: we weren’t compatible. I didn’t hurt him by saying what I really felt but he claimed I had. Uh, okay, dude.
  7. I can’t date someone who’s perfect. It’s awesome to meet a guy with whom I’ve got a natural connection and experience what feels like a perfect date, but this guy was just too much. He was putting in so much effort to be the great catch he thought he was supposed to be and for me to like him. I just felt like he was a poser and I didn’t want to waste my time with someone fake as hell. I’d been fooled by his amazing first impression, but no more!
  8. I don’t completely blame him. Dating is stressful stuff. I’ve been in the situation of wanting to impress a guy and make him like me. I’ve tried to be seen as the carefree, fun-loving girl, even when I was the girl who had opinions but didn’t share them out of fear of being seen as dramatic/too serious. Ugh, it’s so exhausting. This guy reminded me that men also feel the pressure to be perfect, and I’m sick of it all!
  9. I’d rather meet flaws than the flawless guy. I’m not saying that guys shouldn’t put in effort to make a good first impression, but I don’t want someone who’s so perfect that they’re not even a human being anymore. I want someone to show me their flaws and to share their mistakes, confessions, and dark sides. I want the full, real package!
  10. I want to know if we have a future. How else can we see if we’re going to be a good thing together if we don’t put our cards on the table? Who knows when I would’ve really seen what this perfect guy was all about. It probably would’ve taken a long time, and then I would’ve realized I’d been dating a fake all along. I don’t want to waste my time doing that.
  11. Perfect is overrated. Everyone I spoke to about this dreamy guy was shocked when I told them I didn’t want to see him again. To them, he was perfect on paper: he was handsome, sweet, chivalrous, super nice, ambitious, etc. But I’d had to deal with someone who proves that being perfect on paper isn’t necessarily perfect in real life—in fact, I’ve realized it’s boring AF!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.