He Made Me Pay Half The Bill On Our First Date & I Was Mildly Offended

I was forced to split the bill at a really expensive restaurant when I was on a date and it was super mortifying. Shouldn’t the guy pay on the first date? Am I alone in thinking this?

  1. He’s the one who asked me out—shouldn’t he pay for the whole thing? While I believe that splitting the bill is appropriate in certain cases, if a guy asks you out on a date, he should be the one to pay! If I asked a guy out, I’d pay for the whole bill or would at least offer to pay. Some people would argue that friends don’t do that, but this guy wasn’t asking me out as a friend. It’s not the same.
  2. What about the wage gap? Even though the wage gap is starting to close, it’s still pretty bad. Even at my last service job, I got paid the bare minimum while my male co-workers would get raises on the regular. It’s a huge problem, so when my date assumed we would split the bill, I couldn’t help but get a little mad about his insensitivity on the topic.
  3. He was one of those “alternative” guys. I really have to stop dating hippie types because these are the guys who are most likely to split the bill out of politeness. They’re sensitive people so they don’t want to risk getting reamed out by their date for being masochistic and not letting the woman pay. They think that they’re being rude by covering the whole bill, but to me, it’s actually way more rude to expect money from the person you asked out.
  4. To make it worse, he chose the restaurant. I really wish he’d told me that we were going to an expensive place from the get-go—maybe I would have said no. He chose something that was in his price range, not even bothering to check if it was in mine. But that shouldn’t even be a thing because he should have just paid for the date. If you’re going to pick a fancy place then it’s all on you to cover the expenses.
  5. It was just straight up embarrassing. When the waiter came to clear our plates, my date announced that we would be splitting the bill and that’s when my heart just dropped. I know that it probably didn’t seem like a big deal to onlookers, but to me, it felt like I was being rejected and everyone in the place was judging me for it.
  6. It killed the vibe. We were getting along great and then he had to put a stake in the nice energy with his cheap ways. It’s like, what’s more important: having a nice, drama-free evening or saving a few bucks? I liked him at first but then it became weird.
  7. I get that it can get expensive for guys, but I seriously feel like it’s fair that they pay. With the influx of dating apps, I get that it’s getting less and less common for guys to cough up cash for a whole date, especially because they might never see the woman again. Well, I have a solution: don’t take someone to a fancy restaurant on the first date. You’re setting yourself up for awkwardness and disappointment. Why not meet someone for a $2 cup of tea? That way you’re only spending $4. I think that’s a fair price to pay for a chance at love.
  8. It was an instant deal breaker. I liked this guy but his cheapness really turned me off. I felt kinda rejected in that moment and it made me think that he wasn’t having fun on the date. I don’t expect a guy to pay every time, but I do expect them to pay on the first date. It shows me that they’re interested.
  9. He probably thought I was using him but I so wasn’t. So many of my guy friends will complain about girls who take advantage of them by agreeing to go on dates with them, getting a free meal, and then never calling them back or responding to follow-up texts. I guess if you’re going into every date thinking the girl is gonna cheat you out of house and home, then maybe you shouldn’t be dating at all.
  10. He didn’t even try the fakeout. What really shocked me was that he didn’t even do the thing where he offers to pay the whole bill and then I offer to pay for some of it and he graciously accepts. He didn’t even give me a chance to offer, he just announced that we’d be splitting it and that to me felt like a total diss. Needless to say, I never went out with him again.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.