If A Guy Makes Me Feel Bad About Myself, He’s Not Good Enough for Me

I want to find a man who loves me the way I deserve to be loved. That means being with a guy who makes me feel good about myself — a guy who celebrates my achievements and who lifts me up and encourages me to be a better person. If he can’t see and appreciate all the good in me then I’d rather stop wasting my time and move on to someone who can.

  1. I know my own worthI won’t sacrifice that self-assurance for any guy. I won’t be put down or belittled and I won’t feel bad about my shortcomings. I’m aware of them, I’m working on them, and I’m still amazing despite them. I know what I deserve and I certainly deserve better than a guy who makes me feel bad about myself. Maybe other women have let him walk all over them in the past, but that stops with me. If he can’t treat me right, he’s not welcome in my life.
  2. I want a guy who sees the best in me. I want him to see things about me that I don’t even see myself. While I believe in myself, I want him to believe in me too, especially in moments when I’m struggling to feel as strong as I usually am. I want a guy who makes me feel good about myself, a guy who loves me for exactly the person I am, no alterations needed. I want to feel special, not ordinary — that’s what a good boyfriend does.
  3. We should be a team. I want someone who will be my number one fan and root for me in whatever I do. I need a partner to walk through life with, not a rival pushing me down. There’s enough competition in this world — I don’t need to feel like I’m competing for my boyfriend’s love too. If he can’t stand by my side and instead are always pushing me down, he’s just not boyfriend material.
  4. Falling in love with him shouldn’t mean falling out of love with myself. He can’t take away the love I have for myself and he shouldn’t want to. I love the person I am right now, but nitpicking everything about me in an attempt to “fix” the things he thinks are wrong with me is not okay. In fact, it makes him a bully, not a boyfriend, and I don’t need that in my life.
  5. I shouldn’t feel unworthy of his love. If he makes me feel like he’s out of my league then I’ll always be the lesser person in this relationship. I don’t want to be with a man who feels like he’s settling with me. That means I’m settling for a man who doesn’t truly love me. I know I’m worthy of real love, and that isn’t it.
  6. He should feel lucky to have me. We should both feel like the luckiest people in the world to have found each other. People should envy a love like ours, but who would be jealous of a man who makes me feel worthless? A good relationship is built on mutual love, respect, and admiration for one another. If he feels like he’s dating someone who isn’t on his level, we’re off to a disastrous start and I’d rather not even go there.
  7. Dating is all about confidence. I refuse to let my confidence depend on a man. Whether I have a boyfriend or I’m single AF, I’m still a great girl. If I don’t have love for myself, how can I ever expect a guy to love me? I’m confident in who I am and in the fact that I deserve a guy who doesn’t want to change me. I’m already a finished project and I’m wonderful just the way I am.
  8. I need a guy I can lean on. When times are tough, I should have a guy by my side that pushes me to keep going. Even the most confident women still have periods of self-doubt, but the man in my life should be there to wash away those negative thoughts. I want a guy to love me enough to pick me up, not tear me down. Life’s already trying to get the best of me — I don’t need my boyfriend to do that too.
  9. Love shouldn’t bring me pain. That’s not how real love should be. He should bring me nothing but pure joy rather than drowning me in a pool of self-doubt. Tearing away at my self-esteem piece by piece until I’m a shadow of who I once was is not something I can abide and I won’t stay in a situation like that. Love should be joyous, not painful.
  10. He should make me happy. My happiness might not depend on our relationship, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bring me even more of it. A boyfriend should make his girlfriend feel like the greatest woman in the world, not like she’ll never be good enough. If he can’t see how amazing I am then he’s the one who’s not good enough for me.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.