If I Make The First Move, That Doesn’t Give You Permission To Be Lazy

If I Make The First Move, That Doesn’t Give You Permission To Be Lazy ©iStock/Jacob Ammentorp Lund

I’ll admit it: I have zero issues making the first move. I don’t feel weird about it and it’s just become a part of my life — but sometimes more harm than good results from something that should be so simple. If I make the first move, that doesn’t give you permission to be lazy.

  1. You can make the second move. Just because I ask you out on our first date doesn’t mean you’re totally incapable of asking me out a second time. You can’t expect me to do all the work. If you like me, then go for it and don’t wait for me, because I draw the line at asking a guy out a second time.
  2. You have to care. If I keep making the plans, there’s no way for me to know if you’re even into me or not. If you just shrug and go along with it but don’t really give a crap either way, that’s not going to work for me. You have to care just as much as I do and that means asking me on another date.
  3. You’re never going to bench me. Benching is the worst thing since, well, ghosting, and that’s just not happening here. If you keep texting me but refuse to ask me to hang out, assuming that I’m going to keep making all the moves, think again.
  4. You need to be a man. It really sucks that you’re too lazy to make a real move and that you don’t feel that continuing to let me do all the work takes away your manliness, but it honestly does. You have to show me that you’re a real man and that you can make decisions and take charge (at least when it comes to whether or not we’re going to keep seeing each other).
  5. You won’t win. If you ignore me after our first date and are too lazy to follow up, you haven’t won the fight to see who cares less. You’ve actually lost. It’s not cute to pretend not to give a crap — it’s super lame. If you ever want to find love, you’re going to have to stop being so lazy because that’s a one-way ticket to being alone forever.
  6. You haven’t gotten very far. You’re single, so obviously your lazy nature hasn’t gotten you anywhere. You might as well change your ways and step it up. Don’t they say that the definition of insanity is doing the same stuff and thinking the results will be different? Exactly. It takes two to really build something, so you’re not going to find something real unless you try.
  7. You’ll have no regrets. Sure, right now you might not care that you’re too lazy to keep dating me, but in the future, you definitely will. You shouldn’t regret all the second and third dates you missed out on because you were too lazy. Go ahead and make a move — it’s going to be so much simpler than you think it is, and you just might get an awesome girlfriend in the process.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.