Sex Is Great, But Don’t Underestimate The Power Of Foreplay

Sex Is Great, But Don’t Underestimate The Power Of Foreplay ©iStock/Mediaphotos

Sure, you love sex just as much as your boyfriend, but there’s something to be said for a drawn out foreplay session. It’s intimate, it feels good, and it seriously gets you in the mood for what’s ahead. If your partner wants to rush to the finish line but you’d prefer to take your time, here’s how to make the foreplay portion of your night last way longer:

  1. Put on a pre-game show. If sex is the Super Bowl, then foreplay is the pre-game show. But there’s a step before that, too, and it’s called sexting. Sending him explicit messages not only gets your juices flowing, so to speak, it also gets you extra excited for what’s to come.
  2. Add a makeout session. Before you took your relationship beneath the sheets, you had some pretty heavy makeout sessions. It’s so high school, but that’s what makes it fun. Kisses can be deep, sensual, and sexy as hell — especially if you’re locking lips with a guy who’s got skills in that department.
  3. Release your inner stripper. Ripping each other’s clothes off at rapid speed is great and all, but what you want is the admiration of every exposed inch of skin. Taking your clothes off doesn’t have to be just part of the routine. When it comes to sex, you’re mostly focused on only three senses — touch, taste and sound — but never forget the blessing of sight.
  4. Practice your massage skills. You need to remember the beauty of a single touch. You obviously don’t want to rush straight to sex, but you also don’t need to rush your foreplay. Don’t skip directly to third base. Take the time to explore each other’s bodies with your fingertips, your palms, touching inch by inch.
  5. Be conscious of your bodies. When you focus on every finger he lays on your body, you’ll feel the tingle before the sex even starts. Think back to your first time together. Every moment was exciting because you were conscious of every part of your body as he touched it. Remember that early feeling and recapture it.
  6. Slow it down. Your partner might like it fast, but that’s the easiest way to reach completion too soon. It’s find to build up anticipation by picking up speed, but don’t be afraid to go down a few gears at times, too. The change in pace will drive you both crazy in ways you never imagined.
  7. Go with the flow. Remind him that there’s no rush — he’ll get the touchdown eventually, but for now, just enjoy the game. Sometimes guys can’t appreciate the whole show. They want to skip ahead to the climax, but sex isn’t a race. Take your time on each and every step, and you’ll both be happier for it.
  8. Be a tease. He wants it now, but what you need to do is make him wait. In this scenario, being a tease is actually a good thing, and it’s also a turn on. He wants you so bad, and eventually he’ll get you, but for now you’re taking your time. And as much as he hates the anticipation, it’s the ultimate arousal technique… for both of you.
  9. Let him know exactly what you want. He won’t know if you don’t tell him. Half of sex is communication. Whether that’s verbal instructions or subtle body movements, he might need a hint or two (or a hell of a lot more). Don’t be afraid to speak up. You can throw in a request, suggestion, or even playful demand. Men love it when you talk dirty.
  10. Take turns pleasing each other. Sometimes men hate foreplay because they think it’s all about you. Don’t get this wrong — your boyfriend should be more than happy to please you, but if you really want him to love the pre-game, make it worth his while. After all, you both could use a little extra personal attention.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.