We’ve all been blindsided by someone telling us they need space or want to end a relationship out of nowhere. There’s no way for this to not hurt and it’s best to start moving on as quickly as possible. However, if you want that person to miss you (because sometimes we’re all a little petty like that), here are a few steps you can take.
There is no way around this one. Even if he tells you you can text him, don’t. Do not give him the reassurance that you’re missing him, especially if you tend to be overly emotional with your texts. If you feel compelled by law to talk to him at any time, wait two minutes, take some deep breaths, and call a friend. Whatever you do, don’t show him how hard this is for you.
Try not to be too obvious on social media.
The temptation is to either write not-so-subtle captions about how much you’re missing him or to try to make it seem like you’ve already moved on and are going out and having an amazing time without him. Both of these strategies look desperate and he will definitely know what you’re doing. Try taking a break from social media altogether. Focus on yourself, not on him.
Leave some of your things with him.
If you’re in the position of having to leave his house or apartment, make sure to leave a few things so he’ll be forced to remember the closeness you had with each other. Leave a pair of shoes by the door or a sweater you always used to wear on nights in. No matter how cold-hearted or certain he is about the separation, this will remind him of how good it felt to be with you.
Wait it out.
It’s easier said than done, but the best way to make a man miss you is to give him time. Some people take longer to process loss and the consequences of their actions than it takes other people. Make sure to take care of yourself by giving it a deadline. You don’t need to vocalize the deadline, but keep it in the back of your mind so you know there’s a limit to how long you’re willing to wait. At some point, you have to decide to move on for yourself.
If you absolutely must speak to him, make sure he’s the one who answers last.
There are a lot of reasons why you shouldn’t speak to him at all, but if there are logistics to sort out, it might be necessary. If this is the case, make sure he sends the last communication. Allow him to think you’re detached. It will make him think harder about whether or not he’s ready to move on from you.
Make it seem like you’re handling the whole thing really well.
It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. He needs to know how you feel about him. But make sure you pick yourself back up and show him that you are capable of getting past the heartbreak. Make it clear that you will be okay without him, even you don’t think you will. In convincing him of this, you might convince yourself as well.
Understand that you need time, too.
Even if you think this is all one-sided and you want nothing more than for him to be as deeply in love with you as you are with him, remember that you probably need some space too. You may not have known that there was anything wrong with the relationship, but the fact that he did means that not everything was perfect. Take some time to reflect on what this says about him, and ask yourself: Is he really the person for you?
Don’t show him your full hand.
Just because you desperately want to be with him doesn’t mean you should tell him that. Avoid telling him you’ll do anything to stay with him or that you’ll wait for him. Tell him you’re hurt and that you’ll be patient for a little while, but leave it at that. If you act too crushed or forgiving, he’ll be more inclined to feel sorry for you than to miss you.
Give him a reason to miss you.
You may not know why he doesn’t seem interested in you, but you can do everything possible to erase any of those reasons that you have control over. Be the person you know you are. Be bold and loving and passionate in everything you do. Don’t hold back. When you’re living the best version of yourself, you can be certain that his lack of interest is about him, and you deserve someone who sees you for who you really are.
Come to a place where you no longer care whether or not he misses you.
It takes time to let go of someone who let go of you, but you will. At some point, you’ll realize that you are no longer holding onto hope that he will come back to you. You’ll be so far beyond him and that any thoughts you have of your time with him will be like remembering a previous life. The irony is that when he really starts to miss you is when you’ll no longer care.
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